Feel like creating a boyband of your own? Simple. Just follow these rules to becoming a boyband and you're all set!
You've gotta be a group of guys (duh) either 3-5, ages ranging from 17-27 or something.
You absolutely must have a young blonde guy in the group. If not, MAKE one. Dye your hair. Part it down the middle. Jerri curl it. Whatever. This shall be the guy who is the most popular and the guy who is featured in most of the teenybopper magazines.
You must have a "second" man who, even though he has a way better voice, shall be the "second best" and should also be a brunette, in order for most of the attention to be focused on the young blonde. This is the one who attracts the more *ahem*
You need at least one "crazy" one. The vital ingredient for this one is the hair. Stlye it so as to seem as crazy as you please.
Have one "bass" man. He is the one who shall stand in the back while the blonde guy and the "second man" steal all the spotlight. The bass man must be quiet, reserved, and appear to be "romantic". Origin needs not be Mississippi or Kentucky to fit the part, but a Southern state is recommended.
There should also be a "What the hell is he doing here" guy. He will hardly ever sing and either be: a) a ladies' man or b) extremely ugly
Wear shades wherever you go, even during the night time. It'll make you look "supa dupa fly"
Use ebonics regularly
Promote your album first in Europe. Then come suck money out of- I mean, promote yourself here in the US by selling cheap-ass keychains, gay-looking T-shirts, ridiculous posters, and a CD that is nowhere near as good as the European album. :)
Be connected to at least one female singer, about the same age, through sexual flings, TV show with a mouse, or by making them famous.
Wear stupid matching outfits in public, completely ignoring the fact that you are a bunch of grown men, in order to please your little teenybopper fans.
Shave your chest and anywhere else you can think of. ("Crazy" guys and "What the hell is he doing here" guys need not to shave their face. It gives them morale and pride.)
Teenybopper fans will be running after you- make sure you are athletically fit.
Don't forget the kickass flips in concerts.
Degrade yourself into posing for teenybopper mags, using #10 & #11 as attire of choice.
Lie about your dating status. You're single, and you're gonna stay that way until you "find a lucky fan to love"
You are rich. You are cute. You stand there, act pretty, and sing. AND DON'T YOU FORGET THAT EITHER, DAMMIT!
Listen to your manager at all times, doing exactly what he says. You are his slaves. His spawn of money making pretty boys. Serve him well.
Know that thousands of freaks out there will be posers pretending to be or know you personally. Prepare for such statements in websites such as "I slept with one of the guys" or "I'm pregnant with his child", etc. Resistance is futile.
You must love playing video games, or at least two of them must.
Wear Tommy Hilfiger or some other expensive brand.
Pretend to appreciate stuffed animals given to you by fans. Again, never mind the fact that you ditched toys when you were eight.
You must know how to dance, or at least fake it (Go Lance!)
Even though the songs you sing are "dance", you must have at least one slow croony-moony song.
. . . And always remember- There is always going to be a group that sounds like yours somewhat. That's required. You yourself must duplicate that group preceding yours by at least 50%, then claim never to have heard of them before.
Follow these rules and you'll be on your way to fame, fortune, and females!