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Listen 2 Meeh, Hear Meeh out...

IGNORANCE
by: Melissa

One who puts hate in front, and love behind
Can only possess an ignorant mind
They will put you down as some kind of game,
And in our ignorant world, achieve a sense of fame.
We wonder why we are so corrupt...
When one is ignorant, the other gives up
An ignorant person always creates hate,
A loving person is always too late.
This world of ignorance will soon defeat us all...
Our only hope left is for our time to stall
I lie here tonight with ignorance in mind,
Of the words people said when they were unkind
I cry inside with loud dark tears,
On the outside, I hide my fears
Ignorant people have one thing to do,
Say stupid things to demolish you
My ignorance reflects in the words above,
Though the truth remains that hate outweighs love.

Tearz I cried tonight; I cried of madness. Tension and hate turned into sadness. Discomfort within beyond belief. Shed my tears, shed my grief. To understand that life brought me down, To understand They all made me frown. I shed one tear, followed by more, If life had been worse, it'd start to pour. Depressed by the pain they put me through, There will be worse days, I know it's true. When you see me by day, I'm crying inside. For when the night comes, my tears do not hide. Does the pain ever go away? Or will my tearz forever stay? Oppressed by the actions and remarks they say, Is it that hard to realize it hurts this way? "If there's a will there's a way" are words to live by Though I've lost my way, my will makes me cry, The tearz shall continue as I live on in pain... The sadness, oppression, and heartache remain I cried tonight; I cried of madness. Tension and hate turned into sadness. Discomfort within beyond belief. Shed my tears, shed my grief. ~By~Melissa~aka~ILL*NA*NA~

~Thoughts~ Distort my feelings, so I'll think straight Abandon my heart~CONTAGEOUS HATE. Let me to sob, for you help me not. I taught him to love, and he forgot. Shallow thoughts of living in pain. Though my heart feels empty, I remain sane. Left to wonder what my life means, Ran away from life's dramatic scenes. Do you purposely teach me to feel this way? Although it's my own fault, who am I to say? Stuck in a world of ignorance and hate. You put me down, so that you'll feel great. Shocked at the violence exposed to my eyes. Don't you care to hear a poor gurl's cries? To wonder what became of the man who forgot Brings me to know he's sunk lower in his spot. Angel in the sky help this soul of mine. To forgive and forget and thru love, not be blind. Disarm me with your angelic hope. Help me past that VELVET ROPE. Heal me within, distort my hate. Adore my forgiveness, restore my fate. My thoughts can be temporary and strong. But when I love or hate, it WILL last LONG! By:Melissa aka ILL NA NA

One
by: Melissa

The greatest pain is achieved when one is untrue to herself. Like an ordinary fly among a group of fireflies in the night, just trying to fit in. To show realness about oneself encourages acceptance. It is a tragedy to share love when one is in denial of herself. Positivity and negativity are more contageous than love itself. However, love can overcome any disaster if it is used correctly. To distract one who is in denial can cause abstract emotions. Love builds bridges for you. It is up to you when you want to destroy the bridges leading to deserted love and broken hearts. It can sometimes be difficult for someone to admit a mistake, but if it is the biggest mistake of her life, then there is not avoiding it. You become so extremely bitter, hateful, and paranoid thinking about the thousands of other options that you could have tried in order to prevent the distasteful mistake. One can only grieve through this situation and figure out what it means to "Deal" with one's pain.

Color My World I came into the world and started off; A baby blue tone, I looked so soft. Am I blind not to see the colors of HATE? Or is it hidden by love, one's true fate. In no one to trust, in no one to confide. The grass is Greener on the other side Thoughts of white to feel; sights of black to say. Give my world COLOR for I despise the shade Grey What color's the future? if there's one to hold? Is it worth living, like the value of Gold? Life after death; make it so From heaven to earth; to and fro Explore the white clouds and gates of gold plate Send love to one's heart and wishes true fate By:Melissa aka ILL NA NA

Feel
by: Melissa
I have this urge to be who i'm not
To have the things I haven't got.
I want to feel something new.
The kind of feeling I thought was untrue
I want to feel beyond peace of mind
A higher form that no one can find
I want to love and hate in the same breath
I want to know the feeling after death
I need to feel comfort, I need to belong
I want to feel right whenever I'm wrong.
I want to feel hopeless and not have to care
And at the same time, I want love to be there
I want to speak out and feel free
talk without worrying what others think of me.
I want to frown and cry when I feel sad
Instead of smiling when it hurts so bad.
I want my tears to be on the news.
I want the world to feel my abuse.
I want to snap my fingers to correct my past
I want a feeling that will actually last
I want revenge on the times I was made to feel shame
When I was mistreated as a face without a name
I'd like to have nothing and still feel like a queen.
I'd feel this way if you only knew what I mean.

What I'll Remember... If the ceiling were to collapse and my life were to end, What i'll remember is my best friend If a war were to break out and my enemies pounded me What i'll remember is the love that surrounded me. If i was tempted to break myself apart. What i'll remember is the faith in my heart. If the world were to explode and come to an end What i'll remember is my first boyfriend If i was punched in the mouth by a fist What i'll remember is the first time i was kissed If I was offered money to become a fraud What i'll remember is the Word of God If time were to quickly end in a haste... What i'll remember is the time i didn't waste.

Hopelessness by: Melissa I had this hope to never fall apart. I had this hope to be true to my heart. I had this hope to have a stronger voice. I had this hope to make my own choice. I lost this hope within all of my bliss left with despair and hopelessness Sometimes I am so motivated to try But when i get to it, i can only cry. I hide my tears to appear as i do If the world only knew
Who i am and who i am not
cannot be judged so quickly on the spot.
I fear for my life in my state of mind
What I can't hide, someone will find.
There are times when my life is an open book
They realize my thoughts when they take a look
They're blind to see that my hope is dead
And stealing the goodness out of my head.
I was born, have lived, but am i still alive?
Hope slowly faded at the age of five
To keep your hopes up is to keep your head high
I can't keep a promise, so i PROMISE TO TRY.

Untitled
by: Melissa
Distant closeness of stable hearts
Conceit of insane minds
Eternal rest from unforgiveness
Preserving the rotten sanity
Eyes closed to open in a different world
Seeking love through a blindfold
Finding a blue streak in a red sky.
Found in body, Lost in spirit
Gaining Everything from Nothing,
Yet nothing from everything.
The last door closed in a windowless room
Black and white, but lacking grey
Reminiscing confusions of yesterday
The last thornbush growing through a broken heart.

You Had Your Chance
by: Melissa
I gave you my life, like it was nothing to me.
You took advantage of that, I was blind to see.
I gave into you like a played-out joke,
Then gave you everything, until my heart broke
So why do i sound like i have a Doubt?
Because you never did give me a chance to shout!
You wonder why I say no when you ask me to dance?
The bitter truth is, you had your chance
This re-occuring pattern that hurts more and more
It challenges my belief of what i'm here for.
The pain in my heart begins to enhance
As i find the words to tell you---You had your chance!
Why didn't i realize that this would go wrong?
Why do i sound like a depressing love song?
There are just so many feelings saying it's wrong.
It's wrong for me to take you back, like you belong
Although i'm lonely with nothing to say.
This silent thought tells me i'm gonna be okay

New
by: Melissa

I found a new love I could call my own
Diminished the feeling of being alone
I'm building the trust within my new heart.
And praying to God we'll never be apart
I'm starting my life all over again
With a new plan, with a new man
I can't erase the past that I've been through
But then again, I don't want to
Old friends build new memories.
New friends help you keep them alive
I apply the past into the present
And prioritize the present before the future
It's a brand new year for me to start a new.
With a brand new love who makes me feel true.
The goal that I have for each new day
Is to regret absolutely NOTHING that i DO or SAY

Worry
by: Melissa

I am a human being with human emotions.
I tend to worry. I can't help it. I'm human
I seldom love and often lose. I worry about
this game. I share my soul with others and put
my heart on the line. I worry about being criticized
for my expressions. I love life, but usually lack
self-confidence and hope. I worry that this
will diminish my love for life. I watch the
world unfold before my eyes. I know we are all
corrupt. I worry that we will be the cause of
our own demise. I want the future to rush
in faster. I often worry about what I have
in store for myself later in life. I have
friends that I care for and would do anything
for (even though they don't know it). I worry
that my beliefs and efforts are not good
enough to keep them near forever. I love to
be in love. I'm afraid to love too fast. Love
should not live in worry. I worry that loving
will always lead to losing. I'm worried that
I will love too hard and never get to really
love myself. I worry about decisions-- here or there?
Left or right? More or Less? Life or Death?
So do I ever NOT worry? Only when I know God is with me

What am I in?
by: Melissa

I'm in a cage of freedom, in which only God can lock and unlock whenever He pleases.
I'm in a real smile preceeding and following glorified laughter.
I'm in understanding without misconceptions or disallusions.
I'm in that interval between the single beats of a human heart.
I'm in a place that is too good to be defined by as a "Utopia".
I'm in the depths of the clouds (not the white parts, but the deep blue of the sky).
I'm in the delta that separates the river from the lake
I'm in a state of carelessness where the single greatest insult could not offend me.
I'm in the arms of the one who cares about me for me and helps me find who I am.
I'm in the beauty of the beast, which does not appear to be abstract.
I'm in that moment of hesitation before placing the telephone down on the one you care for most.
I'm in love

My Favorite Links

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Email: illna_na@hotmail.com