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IT SEEMS a close friend of mine, the Reverend L. David Russell, believes my church going habits are similar to a joke he tells.
A preacher reminded a passing friend that he would do good to join the Lord's Army. "I am in the Lords army.", responded his friend.
"Well, how come the only time I see you in church is at Christmas time and maybe on Easter?"
"That doesn't mean I'm not in His army, it just means I'm in the Secret Service."
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Letter from Aunt Fay:9/30/99
HI YOU ALL,
NELLIE WENT FISHING TODAY AND CAUGHT A 32LB
SALMON AND HAD A
BIGGER ONE ON AND A GREAT WHITE SHARK TOOK IT OFF HER HOOK
THATS A TRUE FISH
STORY
LOVE AUNT FAY
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My Brother, Sid, retired last month. Left California and moved back to Oklahoma.
He's getting worried about not being able to see the air.
Guess I'll have to send him a jar full of CA Smog so he can breath better.
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MY BROTHER, Sid, is not in Dave Letterman's Band.
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Dave and Patty are NO LONGER the managers of Pinecrest Mobil Home Park!
SEEMS they feel there's too much stress around the neighborhood. Geeze... I wonder who caused it!
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Got to tell you what happened at work the other day.
Jerry, (would a made a good seabee) was sitting in our lunch room,
trying to wolf down a few bites.
Alex, (he'd fit in with the rest of us) was bugging Jerry, just to see
if he could get him riled up.
Alex: "Say jerry, whatcha got for me in your lunch pale, Ya got
anything sweet for me?" (Alex was joking around, talking in a
sweetie-pie voice)
After this went on for about 10 minutes, Jerry had had about enough.
Jerry is the kind of guy that could murder you with one punch, but
wouldn't harm a fly.But was starting to get irritated, which was exactly
what Alex had wanted to do.
Finnally, Jerry said to Alex,"if you ain't going to do anything but
give me a bad time, at least you could run to my truck and bring me my
fork that I forgot."
so Alex came back with "And if I do, do I get a big kiss?"
Jerry jumps up, went behind Alex, said "sure sweety"
Alex is going along with what he thought was a joke, then Jerry leans
over, gives Alex the biggest HICKEY you've ever seen, before Alex
realizwd what was happening.
So Alex spends the rest of the day trying to figgure out what to tell
his wife when he gets home....
"Oh it's nothing to worry about honey, one of the guys just gave me a
hickey"... sure Alex
needless to say, Alex hasn't bugged Jerry or anyone else since then.
Man! give me two black eyes... but not a hickey.
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