1. "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
2. "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
3. "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
4. "Have a cup of coffee, it's already been 'saucered and blowed.'"
5. "She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm."
6. "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
7. "My cow died last night so I don't need your bull."
8. "Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining."
9. "He's as country as cornflakes."
10. "This is gooder'n grits."
11. "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor." (my favorite -gj)
12. "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
Thanx BrendaG