1) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
2) WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
3) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD.
4) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
6) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
7) WARNING: consumption of alcoho may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
8) WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
9) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
10) WARNING: consumption of alcohol maylead you to believe you are invisible.
11) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
12) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.
13) WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
When you drink, don't drive...
If you drive, don't park...Parking
causes people.
