"Here comes trouble"
~Callisto

"New outfit, new religion, same ol' wacko underneath"
~Xena to Najara

"Sometimes the best man for the job is a woman"
~Ares

"Scarred by fire, entombed for eternity. You'll forgive if I'm not at my peak"
~Callisto

"No, no, yes, no. I tried that. Yes, both ways. No, I don't know. No, again...
Are there any more questions? Good."
~Xena

"I'll rise, but I refuse to shine"
~Gabrielle

"Fill yourself with desire and see only illusion. Empty yourself of desire and
understand the great mystery of things"
~Lao Ma

"Welcome to my world. Now get ready to leave it"
~Callisto

"What is none of this is really happening. And like we're all in somebody else's
head and they're making us up"
~Joxer

Pompey: "So...why do they call you the warrior princess??"
Xena: "Because 'Caesar' was already taken"

"I knew you were evil, but you were obnoxious too!!"
~Gabrielle to Xena

Gabrielle: "This thing keeps shrinking. Is it enchanted??"
Joxer: "Yes, they are. I mean, it is"

Pompey: "I like you"
Xena: "Don't. I'm not a likeable person"

"May you live forever"
~Xena to Callisto

Gabrielle: "You don't have to be a virgin to be virtuous"
Leah: "Oh yes. You keep telling yourself that"

"Shall I carve or will you??"
~Callisto to Hope

Priest: "Virgins only"
Gabrielle: "What!! Is it written on my forehead??"

"I scratch your back, you stab mine"
~Callisto to Xena

"Well, listen to my story 'bout Gabrielle,
cute little girl that's lookin' really swell,
perfect hair, such a lovely lass,
nice round breasts and a firm young..."
~Gabrielle

"Any new husbands since the last one I killed??"
~Callisto to Gabrielle

"You fight with your heart. That gives me an advantage over you. I no longer seem to have one"
~Callisto to Xena

Xena: "You may be immortal, but I can still do damage.
How'd you like to spend eternity in five pieces??"
Callisto: "Oh Xena, how I've missed you"

"I hate the dead. You can't take vengeance on them"
~Xena

Gabrielle: "Why aren't you dead??"
Hope: "Well, it's certainly not for your lack of trying, is it??"

"Scarred by fire, entombed for eternity, you'll forgive me if I'm not at my peak..."
~Callisto

Gabrielle: "Xena only kills if it's absolutely necessary"
Najara: "And I only kill evil people. Why is she better than me??"

"Don't just kill me and walk away"
~Callisto