Jokes
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Memo to all students:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work
and
productivity
from students, it will be our policy to keep all
students well taught
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T. ). We are
trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any
other school. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T.
on the course,
please
see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at
the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturer are especially skilled
at seeing that
you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed
in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (
D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. ). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to
EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE
TRAINING ( E.A.T. S.H.I.T. ). Since our
lecturers took S.H.I.T. before
they
graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore,
as they are all full
of
S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T. , you may be interested
in a job
teaching
others. We can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (
B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. ). For students who are
intending to
pursue a career in management and consultancy, we
will refer you to the
department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATIONAL ( M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to
manage M.O.R.E S.H.I.T. . If
you have further questions, please direct them to
our HEAD OF TEACHING
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (
H.O.T. S.H.I.T. )
Thank you
BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TEACHING
( B.I.G S.H.I.T. )
A deer hunter sat crouched in the forest awaiting his
next innocent victim.
From behind him came a large, healthy buck. The
magnitude of the buck's giant antlers shaded the
hunter from the sun.
"What are you doing?" asked the buck.
"Trying to kill you and your family" replied the
hunter. "I want to go back and tell all my friends
what a great achievement I've had."
"What achievement is there in killing a defenseless
creature with a brain the size of a quarter that you've
been feeding all year?" asked the buck. "You are
killing prey that you've trained to go to a certain
place while you wait like a coward for them to
arrive."
"No", said the hunter. "You are wrong. You have
to be very smart to stalk and kill wild prey. Only a
real man can outsmart the instincts of a wild
animal."
"Well then turn around." said the deer. "You've
been putting our food over there all year."
: how do you catch a bear?
A: dig a hole a hole and fill it with ash from a fire.
place peas around the hole. then hide. when the bear
comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash.
Two herrings, Cain and Abel, went to a bar
regularly for refreshment. One day Cain showed up
alone and the bartender asked, "Where's your
brother?"
"How should I know," said Cain. "Am I my
brother's kipper?"
Q>What do you call a fly with no wings?
A>A walk.
A man was driving down the road in the country.
He looked over and saw a baby pig in the field. He
stopped and picked up the pig. He was driving
around town with the pig in the car and a cop sees
him and pulls him over. Cop says "Hey, What are
you doing with that pig in the car?", driver says
"Well, I just found the pig beside the road in the
field.", cop says" I want you to take that pig to the
zoo!" the driver agrees he will take the pig to the
zoo. So the next day the cop sees the guy driving
around again and pulls him over. "WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO
TAKE THAT PIG TO THE ZOO!!" reply, "Well I
did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time
we are going to the ball game now."
What do the Green Bay Packers and The Los
Angeles Police Department have in common?
Neither can stop a Bronco!
Bill Clinton has finally gotten rid of Monica
Lewinsky!!
He had Ted Kennedy driver her home!
Everyone knows you get "aids" from sex!
Pres. Clinton gets sex from "aides"!
When asked how she felt about the allegations
against her husband, Hillary said, "I just pray that
Monica doesnt get Lock Jaw"!!
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Email: santhom@uslink.net
