L.C.W.: The title is a spiritual gift. It came to me in the middle of the night. I truly agonized over writing this book. I wanted to write a business book, not a self-help book about self-love. But, the title popped in my head and would not go away. I truly believe it's a message we need to hear right now. I believe it came to me because I had been thinking of all the problems I've heard women complain about.

As I travel across the country doing seminars and speaking engagements I meet a lot of women. Women from all walks of life, all social-economic levels, all race and cultures. They are different, yet they have similar challenges. They were involved with men who mistreated them. They were always trying to win some guy's approval or affection or they were planning and scheming about how to get a man. They were always complaining, always dissatisfied. The focus was never on who they were as women or as human beings or what they could do to create their own personal power. It was always about someone or something outside of themselves. There was a common theme running through all of these stories. These women were trying to love someone else, before they loved themselves. Sadly, they did not realize it. I only realized it after hearing the same complaints over and over again. I recognized the symptoms because I used to suffer from it too.

It was not until I started working on knowing myself, knowing what I wanted in life, what my values and goals were, what I needed and what I had to offer, that my life began to change. It was through personal development, spiritual and emotional growth, and inner renewal that I was able to take control of my life and learn to love myself first.

M.T.: What inspired you to write this motivational book?

L.C.W.: My inspiration to write Loving Yourself First was two-fold. First, from my past experience as a successful Real Estate Broker and Financial Officer, I had a desire to pass on life- changing information to women, especially African American women. And second, to change the message women have received that the only way we can ever have personal power is through serving others at the expense of our own mental, physical and emotional well being. I knew from my own personal experience it was time to challenge that myth and writing a book was the best way to reach the most people.

I began my career with Century 21 and was trained by some of the top trainers in the country. Within a few years I was a top producing real estate sales person and a member of the distinguished "Million Dollar Club." Later I owned a mortgage company and a real estate firm. I was driving my dream car-a jaguar- living in my house on the hill with the pool and fireplace. I realized I was successful because of the training I had received and I realized this type of training could make a difference in anyone's life. But I also realized the typical woman, especially African American women, would never receive this type of training. So I decided I was going to share that training with other women through my writing, speaking, and workshops.

I also found that even though I had accomplished the material things that by society's standards define success, I was emotionally unfulfilled. That is when I realized I had developed the skills to be successful but I had neglected to develop the person behind the skills. Personal Development training changed my life personally and professionally. Personal development in my opinion is more important than personal achievement. In fact I believe personal development should precede personal achievement if we want to experience real success and joy in our lives. What good is a lot of success if we are emotionally distraught. In my book, Loving Yourself First there are true stories about real women whose lives were destroyed because of lack of personal development, spiritual and emotional growth and self love. I wanted to change all of that.

I did not want to read about another woman taking her life. A child shooting another child or someone's life being taken because of who they are and I have done nothing to try to prevent it. I believe teaching self-love can go a long way in that direction. When we love who we are we become more tolerant and loving of others. I believe it will happen through women. Women, for the most part, raise the children and influence (when we use it) the men. I believe when we learn to love who we are we will pass this message on not only by how we allow others to treat us but how we treat ourselves.

M.T.: Is your book only for women?

L.C.W.: No! I encourage men to read the book. It will give them great insights into the emotional sides of women and give women great insights into their own emotions. A great deal of our challenges in our relationships is based on our lack of emotional maturity and our inability to manage our emotions (both men and women). We have not been taught how to manage our emotions or that it is even possible to take control of them. Again I refer to some of the stories in the book for examples of what can happen when we don't take control of our emotional well-being.

In fact, I have developed a seminar, How To Take Control of Your Emotions. It is so important to our mental and emotional health and our happiness both personally and professionally that we learn to manage our emotions. I talk about the three emotional positions that dictate how we react to any situation in life and how these emotional positions determine our success or failure, and our happiness or lack of. This kind of information can certainly empower both men and women.

L.C.W.: No one becomes successful by him or herself. There are people all along the way that will help you especially, I have learned, when you are willing to help yourself. When I decided to leave real estate and finance to become a motivational speaker I looked around to find someone who was doing it on the level I wanted to do it on and I wanted to emulate. That someone was Les Brown. I met Les in 1989 while I was still in real estate. I attended his speakers training but had not made a commitment to speak. In 1994 I again attended his speakers training, but this time I had decided to become a speaker. Because of my firm commitment to developing myself as a speaker I was able to work with Les Brown in different capacities. He became my mentor and my friend. He wrote the foreword to my book, was my first guest on my radio talk show, The Motivation Power Hour, and came back and did the anniversary show one year later. He recruited me to work as part of his personal development television team, booked me on his international Nassau Bahamas tour, pointed me to the National Speakers Association and continues to support my efforts even today. Some other people that have served as mentors directly or indirectly are: George Fraser, author of Success Runs In Our Race, and Race For Success. George Fraser is one of the most giving people I have ever met. He follows his own advice, "give until it hurts and then give until it feels good." I have never called on George Fraser and he did not come through. Some of my greatest national exposure came from touring for four years with the African American Women On Tour conference-Maria Dowd, Executive Producer. Some people who have touched my life in a profound way as far as writing and publishing my books are Barbara Wright Sykes, Collins Publications; Dr. Rosie Milligan, Professional Business Consultants and Barbara Lindsey, founder Black Business Expo. These ladies have led the way for me to become the writer and publisher I am today. And they are excellent resources for people that want to get published.

I think one mistake we make is asking people to do for us what we are not willing to do for ourselves. People help people when they know they are committed. Make a commitment to do what it is you want to do, began the process and then get the help you need. It has worked for me and I believe it will work for you. My personal commitment is to help and share when and where I can or at least point people in the right direction.

M.T.: Tell us about how you have sold over 40,000 copies by yourself.

The fact that I am a national speaker also played a major part in my ability to sell lots of books. We call it back-of-the-room sales. After speaking to audiences on the average of 300 to 600 people, we usually sold about 50% of them. Touring with African American Women On Tour gave me access to thousands of women nation wide.

Hosting my own hour radio talk show provided me visibility and gave me access to large numbers of people weekly. Also appearing on other radio and TV shows helped boost book sales.

I did promotional things like put together my own national book tour, put together Personal Power Love tours, contact book stores all over the country, contracted with distributors, joined professional organizations and associations, put up a web site, hooked into on-line book sellers, etc.

I believe the moral to the story is to do whatever you can do to get your book to the customer and what you can't do, ask for help. One thing I found out is that if you sell books, you will get noticed. I did not attempt to get a major publisher. My husband and I established a publishing company and published our own books. But because of the popularity and sales, I have major publishers interested in reissuing Loving Yourself First and publishing my next book When Daddy's Not At Home.

M.T.: What advice would you give to self-published or new authors?

L.C.W.: Don't try to reinvent the wheel. Get advice from people who have done what you are trying to do. They know what works and what doesn't work. Good advice can save you costly mistakes. Ask for referrals for publishers, printers, graphic artist, layout artists or software, books to read, etc. Find out what and who works and use them. Your book is a business inside of whatever your business happens to be. Treat it like a business. It has taken me to the four-corners of the earth.

I have authored a small book for self published authors entitled A Complete Guide to $elling Books. There are lots of good books, but none that I found that focused specifically on selling. I have included all the things I did to successfully sell over 40,000 books in 18 months. That includes how to put together a national book tour and how to have a successful book signing. I have also included things that other successful publishers have done to boost their book sales.

My hope is that there is something written on the pages of this interview that will make a significant difference in the lives of the reader. "Remember to love who you are and loving others will become easy." Please visit her web site: