"Aj…" I mumbled but he cut in before I could say anything.

"You guys need to talk." He said and took my hand. He led us to his upstairs bedroom. He left us in there and shut the door. Howie and I stood there, not even facing each other.

"I just want to know why you couldn't tell me." I whispered. He looked at me.

"Because I didn't think you'd understand. I tried to tell you that before, but you just threw me out." He mumbled. I stood there, anger rising in me.

"What do you expect me to do? God Howie you were crying and you wouldn't even let me comfort you. You told me just before this happened that you trust me. How was I supposed to feel?" He just looked down at the ground. "You may not believe this, but every night these past weeks I prayed you'd come back. And that we could be what we were. Everytime the phone rang, I wished it was you, Everytime someone knocked on the door, I wished it was you, Even in my dreams I saw you there, and when I woke up I wished you were beside me. These past weeks have been hell for me, but I learned something about myself. I fall to easily. I thought you were some prince charming that could never hurt me. And now I could hit myself for letting myself. But you wanna know what I could kill myself for? I could kill myself for letting myself fall in love with you!" I walked out of the door when I felt him grab my shoulder. I turned around and I saw tears stream down his face.

"Why do you love me?" He asked. I was silent. He cupped my face in his hands gently. "Why?"

"I don't know." I whispered and I walked away. I knew why I loved him. I loved him for what he just did. He made me speechless, he made my heart beat a little faster, he just made me fall in love with him without even trying. But I wouldn't let myself be hurt again, but wouldn't I hurt myself at this very moment if I was to leave him? I love him, I know that. That's the only thing I know. I turned around and saw him watching me go. I couldn't move. He walked towards me realizing I wasn't going to leave. When he was only a few feet away from me he stopped.

"My ex. I thought I was in love with her. I never thought I could love again after…I don't know if I still can." He whispered. I knew what he was trying to say. "I do care about you Nicole, I care about you a lot. But right now, maybe your right. Maybe we shouldn't be together. Because right now I don't know what I feel." He took another deep breath, "So maybe, this should just be goodbye." He kissed my cheek and started to walk away. I watched him leave. My heart broke in two, and at that point, I didn't think it could be mended. Because the only person who could mend it, was him.