Howie's journal 7-9-00

It's been 4 years since I saw her last Journal. 4 long terrible years. How was I to know that when I left it would hurt this bad? I was such a fool for saying those things. I was a fool for letting myself think I didn't love her. DO I think I will see her again? I don't know. Maybe, I will. But why do I deserve it? I don't deserve even having a mere glance in her direction after what I have done.

I closed my journal and sighed. It has been 4 years since I saw her, and I miss her a lot. Maybe I was wrong when I said I would never meet her, but it was a slight chance. I decided to go on the internet. I've been going on a lot lately, trying to forget about her. It never worked, but it was something to amuse myself with. When I logged on I started going to some BSB pages to just look at. I got bored and decided to find someone to chat with. A certain name caught my eye. Girly4u. I decided to look at her profile. When I looked at it, I nearly fell off my seat. It couldn't be, right? Nicole? I opened a composition and stared at the blank page. What would right? I stared for nearly 10 minutes when it came to me.

Nicole,
I love you.

Howie

I pressed send and sighed. Would she write back? Who knows, but at least I know she knows. That's all I could ask for.