Quotes, October 1999
01. Reason is not one tool of thought among many, it is the entire toolbox. To advocate that reason be discarded in some circumstances is to advocate that thinking be discarded - which leaves one in the position of attempting to do a job after throwing away the required instrument.
- George H. Smith
02. Never eat more than you can lift
- Miss Piggy
03. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
04. This I believe: That the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: The freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: Any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual.
- John Steinbeck
05. Sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
- H. L. Mencken
06. Fiat justitia, pereat mundus [Justice must be done, even if the world be destroyed]
- King Ferdinand 1
07. Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.
- Shakespeare
08. The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
09. Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t.
- George Bernard Shaw
10. A man said to the Universe,
"Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the Universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
- Stephen Crane
11. Hey Butt-Head check this book out! There's a talking snake, a naked chick, then some guy puts a leaf on his SCHLONG!!!
- Beavis and Butt-Head Do America
12. "Wo man singt, da lass dich ruhig nieder; Böse Menschen haben keine Lieder"
[Where they sing, you can calmly lie down - evil men have no songs]
- J.G. Seume
13. I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
- Thomas Jefferson
14. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P.J. O'Rourke
15. Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
- Scott Adams
16. Anything beyond the limits and grasp of the human mind is either illusion or futility; and because your god having to be one or the other of the 2, in the 1st instance I should be mad to believe in him, and in the 2nd a fool.
- Marquis de Sade
17. To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- Woody Allen
18. Life is of no value but as it brings us gratifications. Among the most valuable of these is rational society. It informs the mind, sweetens the temper, cheers our spirits, and promotes health.
- Thomas Jefferson
19. In the first place God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.
- Mark Twain
20. Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure.
- The Harvard Lampoon
21. When people begin to philosophize they seem to think it necessary to make themselves artificially stupid.
- Bertrand Russell
22. There is no crisis to which academics will not respond with a seminar.
- Unknown
23. Accustom a people to believe that priests, or any other class of men can forgive sins, and you will have sins in abundance.
- Thomas Paine
24. Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted into each others' pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary
25. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.
- Woody Allen
26. Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger.
- Abbie Hoffman
27. We in the House of Lords are never in touch with public opinion. That makes us a civilized body.
- Oscar Wilde
28. A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
- James Feibleman
29. Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.
- Tom Waits
30. Sure, there's still war in the Balkans, but the Supreme Being of the universe seems to have become shallow and spends all his time intervening in sporting events.
- Joe Bob Briggs, comment after the Super Bowl
31. Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a Sunday afternoon.
- Susan Ertz
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