Quotes, February 2000
01. I like hearing myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
02. The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
- Andy Warhol
03. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
- Scott Adams
04. It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld
05. Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.
- Unknown
06. It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
- Krishnamurti
07. The authors of the gospels were unlettered and ignorant men and the teachings of Jesus have come to us mutilated, misstated and unintelligible.
- Thomas Jefferson
08. A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on.
- William Burroughs
09. Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
- Evelyn Waugh
10. Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
- Unknown
11. Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
12. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- Unknown
13. I'll get a life when someone demonstrates it would be superior to what I have now.
- Unknown
14. Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.
- Jane Wagner
15. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Unknown
16. The only fence against the world is a thorough knowledge of it.
- John Locke
17. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- Douglas Adams
18. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
- Unknown
19. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
- Oscar Wilde
20. Modesty is the opium of the mediocre.
- Marty Milner
21. If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve
them.
- Isaac Asimov
22. If you don't run your own life, someone else will.
- John Atkinson
23. Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools.
- Gene Brown
24. He who trains his tongue to quote the learned sages, will be known far and wide as a smart ass.
- Howard Kandel
25. A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
- John Keats
26. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
- Mitch Ratcliffe
27. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
- Oscar Wilde
28. When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
- Matt Groening
29. Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.
- Unknown
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