Quotes, July 2000
01. Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
- Ingrid Bergman
02. All my wishes end, where I hope my days will end, at Monticello.
- Thomas Jefferson
03. I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.
- Unknown
04. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.
- Thomas Jefferson
05. If nature had been comfortable, mankind would never have invented architecture, and I prefer houses to the open air.
- Oscar Wilde
06. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
- Daniele Vare
07. Life is like quotations. Sometimes, it makes you laugh. Sometimes, it makes you cry. Most of the time, you don't get it.
- Unknown
08. If at first you don't succeed, cheat!
- Unknown
09. Facias ipse quod faciamus, suades
[Live as you preach]
- Latin proverb
10. "It is said that the civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that by learned discourse, he may rise above the savage, and be closer to God. Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me that I'm best."
- Rowan Atkinson in "Black Adder"
11. "Leave me alone, Baldrick! If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market.
- Rowan Atkinson in "Black Adder"
12. "Baldrick, I'd like to say how much our association has meant to me over the years, but as we both know, that would be a complete and utter lie. So I'll just leave by saying 'Sod off, and if I ever see you again, it will be twenty billion years too soon!'"
- Rowan Atkinson in "Black Adder"
13. "Baldrick, you wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing 'Subtle plans are here again!'"
- Rowan Atkinson in "Black Adder"
14. "Baldrick, you have all the artistic capabilities of a cluster of colour-blind hedgehogs. In a bag."
- Rowan Atkinson in "Black Adder"
15. "To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance is just something that happened to other people, isn't it?"
- Rowan Atkinson in "Black Adder"
16. Bishop of Bath and Wells: "Never have I encountered such foul mindless perversity! Have you considered a career in the church?"
- From Rowan Atkinson's "Black Adder"
17. If a train station is where a train stops, what's a workstation?
- Unknown
18. There is no sin except stupidity.
- Oscar Wilde
19. Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.
- Scottish Proverb
20. The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?" I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way."
- Emo Phillips
21.The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella,
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just's umbrella.
- Unknown
22. Support the police - steal!
- Unknown
23. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- Unknown
24. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
- George Carlin
25. All progress means war with society.
- George Bernard Shaw
26. The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.
- Bill Vaughan
27. Hardly a competent workman can be found who does not devote a considerable amount of time to studying just how slowly he can work and still convince his employer that he is going at a good pace.
- Frederick W. Taylor
28. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
- Unknown
29. Early to rise, early to bed,
Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
- Animaniacs
30. The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
- W. C. Fields
31. The difference between theory and practice is bigger in practice than it is in theory.
- Unknown
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