Quotes, November 2000
01. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.
Nikita Khrushchev
02. Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.
- Oscar Ameringer
03. People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
- Otto von Bismarck
04. I would rather be right than be President.
- Henry Clay
05. The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
- Henry Cate
06. Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
- H. L. Mencken
07. Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone
08. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
09. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
10. Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.
- Unknown
11. A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.
- Unknown
12. The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.
- Alexander Jablokov
13. "Dear Mr. President,
There are too many states nowadays.
Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot."
- Grandpa Simpson (The Simpsons)
14. Seminars, n.: From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
- Unknown
15. Money speaks sense in a language all nations understand.
- Aphra Behn
16. It is great to soar like an eagle, but keep in mind that weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
- W. Morris
17. Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
- Maurice Chevalier
18. Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
- Unknown
19. There's no real need to do housework -- after four years it doesn't get any worse.
- Quentin Crisp
20. I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget.
- Michael McShane
21. Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
- African Proverb
22. There are three ingredients to the good life; learning, earning, and yearning.
- Christopher Morley
23. By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
- Charles Wadsworth
24. It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
- Alfred Adler
25. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving in words evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
26. If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing pole.
- Doug Larson
27. Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back or a fool from any side.
- Yiddish Proverb
28. A consultant is someone who takes your watch away to tell you what time it is.
- Ed Finkelstein
29. Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.
- Samuel Johnson
30. Yea, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.
- Joel Rosenberg
Back to main page
