Quotes, May 2001
01. We all belong to the union when it comes to wanting more money and less work.
- Kin Hubbard
02. If winter comes, can spring be far behind?
- Percy B. Shelley
03. You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.
- Rita Mae Brown
04. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- Jean Paul Getty
05. I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
- Woody Allen
06. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernhard Shaw
07. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
08. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
- H.L. Mencken
09. Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence.
- Unknown
10. Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
- Herbert Spencer
11. The most common form of marriage proposal is: "You're WHAT?"
- Unknown
12. "I think", he murmured at last, from deep within his corroding rattling thorax, "I feel good about it." The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever.
- Douglas Adams, the last words of "Marvin the paranoid android" from "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
13. 'My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre,' he muttered to himself, 'and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'
- Douglas Adams, "Life, the universe and everything"
14. I have a well-deserved reputation for being something of a gadget freak, and am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand.
- Douglas Adams
15. Arthur: 'It's at times like this I wish I'd listened to my mother.'
Ford : 'Why, what did she say?'
Arthur: 'I don't know, I never listened.'
- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
16. I knew I was on to something because when I went to San Francisco to talk about it everyone said I was mad. So I thought, "Good, it means nobody else is doing it."
- Douglas Adams
17. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
- Douglas Adams
18. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
19. Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
- Douglas Adams
20. DON'T PANIC
- Douglas Adams (Written in large, friendly letters on the front of "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy")
21. You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
- Franklin P. Jones
22. Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.
- Abigail Adams
23. Character is what you are in the dark.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
24. There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is obviously impossible.
- Richard Davisson
25. Any power must be an enemy of mankind which enslaves the individual by terror
and force, whether it arises under the Fascist or the Communist flag. All that is
valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development
accorded to the individual.
- Albert Einstein
26. There are men you love - and then there are men you know well.
- Coco Chanel
27. When it comes to your health, I recommend frequent doses of that rare commodity among Americans - common sense.
- Vincent Askey
28. Yes, I once stopped eating grapes for 24 hours.
- Woody Allen, when asked if he had ever been politically active
29. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
- Oscar Wilde
30. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
- Bob Wells
31. Justice, n.: A decision in your favor.
- Ambrose Bierce
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