Quotes, December 2001
01. Music, the greatest good that mortals know.
- Joseph Addison
02. When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.
- Emo Philips
03. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
04. You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
- Drew Carey
05. Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
- Robert Heinlein
06. I was the best I ever had.
- Woody Allen
07. There is good sex and there is bad sex but chocolate is always chocolate.
- Unknown
08. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.
- Jimmy Shubert
09. Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.
- Butch Hancock
10. I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
11. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings.
- Dave Barry
12. The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created, first in the mind and will, next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination.
- John Schaar
13. Law and justice are not always the same. When they aren't, destroying the law may be the first step toward changing it.
- Gloria Steinem
14. Bescheidenheit ist eine Zier, Doch kommt man weiter ohne ihr
[Modesty is a virtue, but you will go further without it]
- German proverb
15. The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
- Elizabeth Taylor
16. Truth in matters of religion is simply the opinion that has survived.
- Oscar Wilde
17. Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.
- Doug Hofstadter
18. Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott
19. Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others.
-William Allen White
20. I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
- Emo Phillips
21. As a final incentive before giving up a difficult task, try to imagine it successfully
accomplished by someone you violently dislike.
- K. Zenios
22. Consistency is the last resort of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde
23. Ministers say that they teach charity. That is natural. They live on hand-outs. All beggars teach that others should give.
- Robert G. Ingersoll
24. Christians say that - without exception - their God answers all of their prayers; it's just that He sometimes says "yes" and other times "no," "maybe," or "wait." Of course the same could be said of the rain-god, "Bob".
- Donald Morgan
25. All the tales of miracles, with which the Old and New Testament are filled, are fit only for imposters to preach and fools to believe.
- Thomas Paine
26. The total absence of humour in the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.
- Alfred North Whitehead
27. How long soever it hath continued, if it be against reason, it is of no force in law.
- Sir Edward Coke
28. Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
- P. J. O'Rourke
29. I like to browse in occult bookshops if for no other reason than to refresh my commitment to science.
- Heinz Pagels
30. Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
- Dave Barry
31. There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come.
- Victor Hugo
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