Quotes, November 2003
01. "Charles, get the rifle out. We’re being fucked."
- Steve Mackintosh in "Lock, Stock and two smoking barrels"
02. Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, «O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.» And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu--
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
03. What’s a man’s first duty? The answer’s brief: To be himself.
- Henrik Ibsen
04. Games lubricate the body and the mind.
- Benjamin Franklin
05. Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
- G. M. Trevelyan
06. Mundus vult decipi
[The world wants to be deceived]
- Cajus Arbiter Petronius, Latin writer 1st century AD
07. Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams
08. Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?
- Barbara Streisand
09. That God cannot lie, is no advantage to your argument, because it is no proof that priests can not, or that the Bible does not.
- Thomas Paine
10. Men use thought only to justify their wrongdoings and words only to conceal their thoughts.
- Voltaire
11. All men are liable to error, and most men are, in many points, by passion or interest, under temptation to it.
- John Locke
12. There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness.
- George Washington
13. If you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well-viewed.
- Lilly Tomlin
14. A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland
15. A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
- Frank Capra
16. Those who invalidate reason ought seriously to consider whether they argue against reason with or without reason; if with reason, then they establish the principles that they are laboring to dethrone: but if they argue without reason (which, in order to be consistent with themselves they must do), they are out of reach of rational conviction, nor do they deserve a rational argument.
- Ethan Allen
17. What sunshine is to the black soil, so is true enlightenment to the earth’s friend.
- N.F.S. Grundtvig, Danish writer & scholar 1783-1872
18. Brigands demand your money or your life, women require both.
- Samuel Butler
19. Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
- G.K. Chesterton
20. Thou shallt not kill. Thou shallt not commit adultery. Don’t eat pork. I’m sorry, what was that last one? Don’t eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?
- Jon Stewart
21. This above all, to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou cans’t not be false to any man.
- Shakespeare, "Hamlet"
22. Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.
- Fran Lebowitz
23. It is too late in the day for men of sincerity to pretend they believe in the Platonic mysticisms that three are one, and one is three; and yet that the one is not three, and the three are not one. But this constitutes the craft, the power and the profit of the priests. Sweep away their gossamer fabrics of fictitious religion, and they would catch no more flies.
- Thomas Jefferson, to John Adams
24. It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
- Henry Wheeler Shaw
25. So loud each tongue, so empty was each head
So much they talked, so very little said.
- Charles Churchill
26. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben
27. Non scholae, sed vitae discimus
[We do not learn for school, we learn for life]
-Seneca, Roman poet 4 BC - AD 65
28. He knows little, who tells his wife all he knows.
- Thomas Fuller
29. I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.
- Emo Philips
30. God tells Adam and Eve not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. If this was the only way they could understand the difference between good and evil, how could they have known that it was wrong to disobey god and eat the fruit?
- Laurie Lynn
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