Sexual Jokes






Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.



Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?

A. A Klondike Bar



Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A. "How do you breath through something so small?"



Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?

A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.



Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.



Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?

A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.



Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?

A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!



Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

A. Brothel sprouts.



Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?

A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!



Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?

A. Finger painting.



Q. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

A. When his hand caught on fire.



Q. What does parsley and pubic hair have in common?

A. Push it aside and keep on eating...



Q. How do you say 69 in Chinese?

A. Twocanchew (two can chew).



Q. What is the definition of a menstrual period?

A. A bloody waste of fucking time.



Q. What is the Difference Between Pussy and Apple Pie?

A. You can eat your mom's apple pie.



Q. Why can't women read maps?

A. Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.



Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common ?

A. You don't look down.




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