The walls are closing in on me now.
I have to make a choice, but how?
I can either suffer in pain,
Or get quickly slain.
Those are my only two choices.
And I keep hearing voices.
Go with the quick one.
No sooner do you step in, then it is done.
No, go for the pain,
For you might live again.
What should I do?
Die, or live for you?
I guess I shouldn't really say die.
But it fits in my mind's eye.
That's pretty much what it is,
And that's the part I seem to miss.
I don't quite get it,
I always seem to forget it.
I won't really die,
But just inside.
But something tells me,
Inside is outside, or should be.
Without the inside,
I am no longer I,
But just a person,
With no rhyme or reason.
I wonder how different it would be,
If you were here with me.
I wish I wasn't here,
In where the walls are so near.
I really wish I could get away,
To go out and play.
But of course not, I must stay,
And waste away.
It's not that I don't want to,
But it'd be nice if I had you.
If I had you here with me,
I wonder how different it'd be.
Having you in the same thing,
Helping me through everything.
Looking from the inside,
Helping me come untied.
Untied from imaginary ropes.
And fill me with new hopes.
I wonder how different it would be,
If you were here with me.
I'm stuck where I stand,
Unable to understand.
I don't quite get what's wrong,
I just know it can't go on long.
It'll tear us apart if it does,
And you'd go get your buzz.
The one from which I've kept you,
Like many other things too.
Maybe if you were here with me,
I wonder how much different it would be?
-Mandielynn
9/26/98
