How can you laugh so?
When I am here crying,
My eyes sunken low.
But yet I'm trying.
I'm trying to pull away from you,
But it's not working,
And lately it's making me blue,
Unable to do anything.
My heart is heavy.
And I can hardly take it anymore.
And yet it's like you laugh at me.
I guess I just don't know you anymore.
What ever happend to the guy I once knew?
He used to hang around here,
He always sounded like he meant it when he said I love you.
But I guess he's not coming around here.
I miss him a lot you know,
The guy who used to be you,
It was only a few months, before he let go.
And now he has turned into you.
And yet I still cling to you,
Afraid of letting you go,
Afraid that I'll loose you too,
Because my heart doesn't know.
It doesn't know how much you love me.
It just sees the guy that laughs loudly,
When I'm crying silently,
And is almost always ignoring me.
Sometimes I think he has returned,
When you're over, holding me.
But I only get burned,
Because you have tricked me.
You're so different when you're here.
It's almost like two different guys,
But I wonder when you're not here,
Which one is true, and which one lies.
Everytime you change on me,
It's like you put a mask on,
I'm getting more confused then I thought I could be,
I wish you'd just tell me when you're done.
Tell me when you're finished playing,
When there is only one guy inside,
So that I don't feel like you're lying.
And so that I don't always feel like I've died.
Every time you change to the one you are now,
I wonder if this is really the guy in which I fell in love.
And then I take a closer look and I know how.
Nobody gets to choose who they love.
If I did get to choose,
Even though you laugh almost at me,
I would choose you,
And hope that you'd come back to me.
©Mandielynn
8/10/98
