If someone were to ever ask me,
What the hardest thing would be,
I would tell them I already know.
I've been through it a while ago.
To say good-bye,
Leave them asking why.
Turn my back on their words,
Not let myself be seen, or them be heard.
To stay silent while they cry,
To remain calm while they say a teary good-bye.
To hang up with an emptiness inside.
To know what I've done, to know I've lied.
To say I don't love them anymore,
Ask if we could be friends, like before.
Give up their kisses, smiles, and phone calls.
Giving it up for someone else. Giving it all.
Knowing I'll never be able to find like this again.
And to regret it and miss them terribly in the end.
Wishing I could take away my words,
To plead them to let me be heard.
Ask if they'll forgive me,
Ask if they'll take me back-quickly.
To confess the never dying love,
And that they're the only one I'm thinking of.
Of course this could be true.
But neither are in love anymore, we're through.
We've both moved on.
It was a battle to the end, and we won.
It's been a year now,
I still don't know now.
How I got over you so fast,
When I thought we'd always last.
I still miss you terribly,
Wish it was still you and me.
But this is for the better,
E-mail, phone call, a written letter.
We still can use them all.
Friends last forever, afterall.
I never have forgiven myself for your pain.
The pain I caused you in order to gain.
What I got, I must say, was more than I bargained for.
I got love, but I got a whole lot more.
Some is good, some bad, some I can't live without.
But loosing you was the hardest thing, no doubt.
-Mandielynn
4.1.99
