S2828@webtv.net

((( LOL )))         ((( LOL )))             ((( LOL )))

Three bronzed Alaskan blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.

A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde, "We aren't fishing.

We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game warden, "Take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically.

"What a dumb Fish Cop,"

the second blonde said to the other two,

"Doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"

((( hehehe! )))         ((( hehehe! )))           ((( hehehe! )))

Three pregnant woman are sitting around the table at lunch (a blonde, a brunette, and aredhead, of course).

The redhead says, 'I know I am going to have a boy.'

The blonde asks, 'How do you know that?'

To which the redhead responds,

'I was on top.'

Then the brunette says, 'Well, I know I am going to have a girl.'

The blonde asks again, 'How do you know that?' To which the brunette replies

'I was on the bottom.'

The blonde then starts bawling, crying and wailing. The redhead and brunette look at each other and shrug, then ask the blonde why she is crying. She replies

'I'm going to have puppies!'

Here's just a few blonde Question & Answers for you...

Q: How do blonde brain cells die ?

A: Alone.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?

A1: Blow in her ear.

A2: Buy her another beer.

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What will she ask you?

A: 'Is it mine?'

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?

A: She drowns it.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?

A: Who cares?

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an iq of 125?

A: a foursome.

Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?

A: Penicillin.

Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?

A: An air bag.

Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?

A: To avoid a draft.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?

A: 'I'm *sooo* drunk!'

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?

A: (Screaming) 'I said: I'm drunk!'

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?

A1: All the blondes have gone home!

A2: Has that blonde gone yet?

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 1/2 days?

A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

A: The noise gave her a headache.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?

A: They don't know the route.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?

A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?

A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?

A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?

A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How do you plant dope?

A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A: Wave to her.

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?

A: And I thought blondes were dumb!p>Q: How does a blonde high-5?

A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?

A: Flattered.

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?

A: A know-it-all bitch.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?

A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?

A: Third Grade.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?

A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?

A: One.

Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?

A: She didn't know which ONE came first...

Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?

A: Divorced.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?

A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?

A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?

A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?

A: She has a checkbook.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?

A: Lipstick.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?

A: Because it says right on it 'good for up to 20 pounds.'

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?

A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.

A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?

A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?

A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say?

A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's ?

A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE.

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?

A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes go in first.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?

A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?

A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?

A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.