How to Read a Dog Advertisement

1. Great stud dog ....................Mounts anything that can fog a mirror

2. Excels in movement ...................If he gets loose, runs like Hell

3. Personality Plus..................... Wakes up if you put liver up his nose

4. Good bite ............................... Missed the judge, got the steward

5. Large boned..............................Looks like a Clydesdale

6. Good Obedience prospect........Smart enough to come in from the rain but he's UG-LEE

7. Quiet and good natured ..................In his kennel

8. Gorgeous Coat......................... If the hairspray lasts until the class finishes

9. Excels in type and style..............However, moves like a spider on speed

10. Won in stiff competition......Beat 4 puppies and a 9 year old novice dog

11. Multiple group winner............... At 2 puppy matches

12. Loves children ............................For breakfast, lunch and dinner

13. He has good points....................His head is shaped like a carrot

14. Noted Judge ...........................He put up our dog

15. Respected Judge .....................He put up our dog twice

16. Esteemed Judge ......................He puts up anything that crawls

17. Specialist Judge ..........Puts up anything that looks like his own breeding

18. Won in heavy competition..........The others were revoltingly overweight

19. Shown Sparingly ..................... Only when we had it in the bag

20. Show Prospect ...................He has 4 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 tail

21. Finished in 5 shows .................And 89 where he failed to win a ribbon

22. Well Balanced ..........................Straight as a stick, front and rear

23. Handled brilliantly by................. Nobody else can get near him

24. At stud to "approved" bitches......Those bitches whose owner's check is "approved" by our bank

25. Linebred from famous champions.....Ch Whoozitz appears twice in 6th generation

26. Terrific brood bitch..................Her conformation is the pits, but she throws big litters

27. Wins another Best In Show .........His second, under the same judge, our uncle!

Humorous
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Important Topics
[Beware Irresponsible Pet Breeders]   [Beware of Pet Stores]    [Get Rid Of Your Dog?]
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