For now, it is referred to as BLESSED or ONCE BLESSED. He says he has the story pretty much laid out in his mind, but the script is still taking shape. He needs a co-writer, because, he acknowledges, "what I don't do well, I don't do well at all." He isn't sure how much he wants to reveal, but he can say that it involves the travels of a man who crosses the world through different eras, in the process coming into contact with various real non-profit and international aid organizations (each of which will get their own nonfictional vignette before the character moves on). "The main themes," he says, "are identity and heroic action," and in feeling the film will be somewhat analogous to KUNDUN, E.T., BEING THERE, and in historical scope but not tone, FORREST GUMP.

To raise money, Kilmer is working with a New York-based company called Third Millennium Media. Thus far, he's put up his own money -- he doesn't say how much -- and he is looking into the possibility of doing the whole thing without studio backing. He wants to establish a non-profit organization to coordinate fundraising for the film largely through corporate sponsorships, to arrange distribution and merchandising deals, and also to act as something of a clearinghouse for the non-profits mentioned in the film, supporting them with whatever revenues might result. Part of the sales pitch will involve pushing the ostensible social value of a film starring Val Kilmer, part will involve product placement, such as the ones that were used in the last James Bond movie.

And Kilmer says he can keep the costs low by filming the whole thing on high-definition video, a technique never before used on a feature film, but which is far cheaper because it eliminates the need for a large crew and allows for greater flexibility with lighting. "With high definition," he says, "we'll be able to film anywhere in the world for less money than shooting the whole time in Los Angeles. Any movie under $20 million, the only reason they're not being filmed on hi-def is ignorance of the quality. I don't feel like I'm being that innovative; it's just the practical way of solving the challenges of this particular story."

With a South African nature photographer named Craig Foster, he put together a hi-def film test, the first of its kind, he says. Over the phone from Bali, he said he would be viewing the results in New York in a few weeks. He arrived clean-shaven, wearing a black pea coat and black pants and gold-rimmed glasses. In a large screening room in HBO's office building, the audience was Joseph, another friend, and the founders of Third Millennium, Ian Huschle and Ian Rowe.

The test was shot in Hawaii, Iraq -- where he went last June on an aid trip with AmeriCares -- Jordan and New Mexico. The main purpose was to see how the film worked in different settings, many of which might be used in the film, along with Bali and Fiji and a host of other locations. The content, intentionally ridiculous, he says, was a loosely constructed story of a series of men -- all played by Kilmer -- who are part of a worldwide nature collective. It begins and ends with quotes from Thomas Paine: "The world is my country: mankind is my brethren: to do good is my religion," reads one; "These are the times that try men's souls," the other. There is a Star Wars-type written intro, which didn't make a whole lot of sense, again, he says, by design. There was Kilmer as a long-haired surfer, a bald fashion-type figure, a denim-wearing cowboy, a roughish spy (I think), a guy who danced around like Jamiroquai's lead singer, and a naked guy on the beach and then, still naked, on the base of the Statue of Liberty. There were scenes inside some children's hospitals and out in the desert. The soundtrack included the Smashing Pumpkins, Orbital's theme from The Saint, something that might or might not have been Goldie -- who, Kilmer says, has agreed to work on the real soundtrack; he's also trying to get Beck -- and Led Zeppelin.

Do you think you're selfish?
Um, no. I think … the business of movies, not so much the theatre, is self-oriented. It's what you do. If you play the violin, you can put it down. It's something that's unattractive about how involved you have to be with who's doing your hairdo, how big the trailer is, who's doing the costumes. I don't think so, but it's demanding in that way. The character [in Blessed] is literally a better person than me. That's selfish intent: if I write a character better then me, that I'll be better playing it.

How do you want to be better?
It's really an attitude, a kind of generosity of spirit. I was making fun of myself about being prepared to do the interview, but it's true. I never have prepared for one. But you see how people who have, some intensity. And wisely. Some people communicated very succinctly, and it's as if they have a gift for interviewing or selling themselves.

You want to be better at interviews? That's generosity of spirit?
Being prepared to do the job well, and make time for other experiences. The best people I know in our business are very busy but seem not to be. They're an inspiration. Ted Turner and Katzenberg, they seem to be really caring parents and really involved in other things. How they have time is a mystery to me. I want to try and figure it out.

Do you want people to understand why you do what you do?
I don't know. I don't think that way. It's a whole lot more satisfying to me to people-watch then to be watched by people.

On the last day of 1998, he'll turn 39. He hopes to make this movie in the next couple of years. It's not difficult to predict that reactions to this project will range from intrigued to dismissive. Kilmer himself admits: "To be honest, I despair often, because it's very hard to make a movie, period. Anybody that does really deserves a lot of credit, no matter how the thing turns out." And when asked if he views the project as an ambitious one, he laughs: "I would look at it more as foolish. Write a short list of ten dumb things to try and do with a commercial movie, and they're all on it."

Joseph sees it a little differently: "Oh, he definitely wants to leave his impression on the film world. Definitely as an actor, more recently, I think, as a director and a writer, though he's more modest about those ambitions."

There is a question of whether, when viewed from the outside, this project is a wise choice. But it's consistent with everything he's done. Kilmer is more animated discussing this project than he is talking about any other aspect of his career. The roles, the rumors -- that inspires little emotion: but a recent meeting with a potential screenwriter he liked and he's wired. Though he says, "I'm searching for different techniques to revere, or reveal, the noble spirits of Americans in a way that will appeal to a younger audience," he is doing this for himself, from himself. He has an idea of what he wants, a feeling of how he wants it done, and with that in place, it's as if the external considerations do not exist. It's just not that easy to explain.

"We bounced ideas off each other. One [Kilmer had] was whistling on the way to the OK Corral. I think each director has different relationships with actors you know. I think the ones who don't like him are the ones who tie him up in knots and not let him move, the autocrats."
- Cosmatos.

Kilmer in 1995 on playing the role: "I've done an absurdly commerical cartoon and now I'm more likely to be hired for a job I couldn't get hired for before, because I hadn't done enough movies. It's so rare when an actor gets hired because he's right for the role - it just doesn't figure into it."

"In that one expression is Chris' total understanding of who he's been and where he's come from, all that history, the volatility, the dysfunctional parts of his marriage, the contradictions. It's the accumulation of al the work we did. It's not just an accumulation of Chris' history crashing at that moment, it's Val's history and my history and everybody's history doing that picture. In that moment, Val is Chris. He's not Val; he's not acting. He is being Chris. You can't fake that. When you work with a brilliant actor like Val, you get those transcendental moments when an expression says everything." -- Mann, on Kilmer's (Chris') final scene.

"I look across the street and I see this guy. Then it comes into perspective that it's Val. I walked up behind him and say, 'Val,' and he says 'I'm working,' in this very cold voice. And I'm like, 'Val?' I'm working. I touch his arm, and he turns and says, 'Jeff!' and runs down the street. I thought, that's bizarre: We used to hang out every day and I finally see him and he runs away? Then he turns around and starts jumping up and down: 'Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff.' He runs back and says, 'I'm sorry, but you were in the middle of a shot.' And he points to the rooftop; there were like 100 people and cameras [for At First Sight]. He said, 'This is so weird. Three days ago, I wrote your name down and said I really must see this person.'"
- Jeffrey Joseph, on his first meeting with Kilmer in about a decade.

ROLES HE'S BEEN OFFERED AND TURNED DOWN
The Outsiders, Dune, Blue Velvet, Flatliners, Something Wild, Point Break

ROLES HE WANTED BUT DIDN'T GET
Sophie's Choice, Full Metal Jacket, Goodfellas ("The guy was half-Irish, I thought that gave me a chance.") Crimson Tide (Kilmer has always wanted to work with Gene Hackman), Philadelphia, Interview with a Vampire