Karen was sitting on a chair, being surprisingly quiet. She's only quiet when she's either upset or really, really nervous, this case being the latter. Howie was sitting next to her, talking to her gently, as she nodded and tried to act normal.
Alta was leaning against the dressing room wall, being very fascinated with a spot on the opposite wall. Like Karen, she's only quiet when she's upset or nervous. Kevin was leaning next to her and talking to her, but she was very distant, with good reason.
Elissa was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall looking VERY nauseated. She was also almost to the point of hyperventilation. Nick was sitting next to her, calming her down and rubbing her back. She probably would have barfed if it wasn't for him.
Korin was sitting next to AJ on the couch, twisting her hair around her fingers and playing with it, which is one of her main nervous habits. They were talking quietly, and she would laugh every once in awhile.
As for me, well I was pacing back and forth in the dressing room while grabbing onto my medallion. Meet my nervous habits. My medallion is really special to me, since it's been blessed by the Pope. I got it at church when I was 13 and put it on a chain, and I haven't taken it off since. It's almost become a security thing for me - when I'm upset or scared, I always reach for it. Tonight, I was holding onto it tightly while pacing. As I passed Brian, who was sitting on the other couch, one time he grabbed my arm and stopped me.
"Hey, slow down, you're gonna wear youself out before you even get onstage!" he said.
I smiled.
"True. I'm just really, really nervous."
"I don't blame you. The first big concert is always the most nervewracking. But you'll get more used to it each show. Here, sit down," he said, gesturing to the spot on the couch next to him.
I nodded and sat down next to him.
"Any warnings about being onstage?" I asked him.
"Well, be prepared for one of the biggest adrenaline rushes of your life. Nothing you'll ever do will compare to it, I promise you. And don't worry about screwing up too much, cause if you do I guarantee you you will screw up." he said.
"Thanks," I replied.
"No prob."
"Girls, it's time!" a voice said.
Brian and I stood up.
"Good luck, I know you'll do great," he said.
"Thanks, I hope so," I replied.
"You will. I saw you guys rehearsing, and you're gonna do wonderful."
He gave me a good luck hug and then I followed the stage guy out of the room. The guy lead us to an area right near the the stage entrance.
"45 seconds!" he yelled.
We nodded and began our pre-show ritual. We held hands in a circle and prayed first. Then we yelled our little saying that we always do right before we go onstage (we got it off an old cheer left over from our junior-high marching band days and rewrote it):
"One! We are Illusion! Two! We're doin our thing! Three! We gotta sing now! It's time to go onstage now and one! We are Illusion! Two! We're doin our thing! Three! We gotta sing now! It's time to go onstage now! "
By the time we were done with our ritual, it really was time to go onstage. The intro music of "Tell Me" started playing and I felt this amazing jolt rush through my body. We heard our cue and ran onstage. Suddenly I got an adrenaline rush I absolutely cannot describe. The BSB fans were yelling for us, God knows why, since I doubt they'd heard of us until then, but hey, when people are screaming at you, you're grateful. We started singing "Tell Me" and got a great crowd response. At first I was extremely conscious of what I was doing onstage, but after a little while into the song I realized that my voice knew what words to sing and my body knew what moves to dance, so I relaxed and enjoyed the incredible rush of being up there. We finished "Tell Me" and then it was my turn to talk.
"Hello Charlotte!" I yelled.
The crowd responded by screaming.
"How's everyone tonight?" I yelled again.
More screaming.
"We are Illusion! My name is Kristy, and I'm 22!"
"My name's Elissa and I'm 23!"
"Wazzup everyone, I'm Karen and I'm 22!"
"Hey, my name is Korin and I'm 21!"
"And I'm Alta and I'm 22!"
"Now we're gonna slow things down a little by singing a song called 'You Still Can't See'," Korin said as we sat down in chairs.
I've been loving you for what seems like forever
But to you, I'm not even there
I try so hard
I want you to see me
Notice me
Know I'm alive
No matter what I do
Don't matter how hard I try
To you I'm not even there
I know you still can't see
No matter what goes on
Don't matter what the circumstances
You still don't know I'm alive
Cause baby you still can't see
Why do you turn to her
Ignore me completely
You're killing me
Singlehandedly
Doin what no one else can do
Tearin me apart inside
No matter what I do
Don't matter how hard I try
To you I'm not even there
I know you still can't see
No matter what goes on
Don't matter what the circumstances
You still don't know I'm alive
Cause baby you still can't see
If there were some way
To make you understand
Do what nothing else can do
Bring me in your heart
Make you see just how much I care
It'd save my life
Cause bein alone
It's killing me
It's killing me
You're killing me
Inside
No matter what I do
Don't matter how hard I try
To you I'm not even there
I know you still can't see
No matter what goes on
Don't matter what the circumstances
You still don't know I'm alive
Cause baby you still can't see
Cause baby you
(baby you)
Still can't see
We did our remaining three songs and ran offstage with a feeling no words could possibly describe.