Brian softly stroked her ebony hair. His gaze traveled over her dark hair, to her soft pale complexion. Her black lips. She hardly looked like herself, almost as though she were dead. Brian immediately shook his head. What kind of thoughts were these?
Jessica stirred beneath the covers, and opened her baby blue eyes. She blinked a few times and focused on the figure hovering over her. She squinted against the brightness and her head pounded harder. She grumbled and went to sit up. A soft hand stopped her and she realized that a man kneeled beside her. She shook her head softly, trying to clear the haziness. The image in front of her cleared and she stared into a pair of deep blue eyes. Her lips parted in awe. Her eyes grew wide and she clutched onto the man's arms tightly, as though she'd never let go. In her mind she knew that this beauty before her could not be real and yet he was. And then he smiled.
"I'm glad you are awake, Jessica." He spoke and she trembled slightly at the sound of his enchanting voice.
"You?" She asked and those images of him cleared when she realized who he was. She shook her head again and a wave of dizziness overwhelmed her and she closed her eyes briefly. "What happened? Where am I?"
"You were almost hit. What were you doing in the middle of the road?" He asked her.
"I don't know, I don't remember."
"You were almost killed. I brought you here." He said softly.
"Home? Where's mom?" She asked, still out of it. She wouldn't have ever asked about her mother. She hadn't asked for her mother or even thought about her since she was 15.
"No. You're at my place. I brought you here." Brian said and continued to stroke her hair. She let him, barely even realizing it.
"Oh." She replied.
"You can stay here as long as you like. The landlord who owned your old place has claimed it back. You're supposed to move out within the next three days."
"What do you mean three days? Shouldn't I have three months?" she asked suddenly panicking. Three days wasn't enough to pack.
"Don't' worry. Everything is here. You can stay here as long as you like." He offered.
She didn't want his hospitality. She could take care of herself. She went to sit up again and again dizziness took her.
Brian placed a hand upon her shoulder and gently pushed her back upon the pillow. "No, lay back down. If you're not going to stay at least until you find a place, then stay until you are well enough to look on your own."
She listened to the logic in that and groaned. Why did he have to be so damned nice? She didn't like it. It gave her no excuse to be rude, like she usually was. Inwardly she groaned but gave in to reasoning. She sighed heavily and nodded. Her head ached and she kept her eyes shut. She lay like that with Brian stroking her hair until she had fallen asleep.
Brian placed a cool cloth upon her forehead. She was burning up. He frowned realizing that something was wrong. She moaned in pain and turn. She swatted at beings only her subconscious mind could see. He tried to calm her down and she fought him harder. She cried out again and her body went limp. He bit his lower lip and tried to cover her up. She kicked the covers back off and rolled away from him.
He pulled her back, sitting down on the bed. He wrapped her in his arms, pulling her close to him. She whimpered and clutched onto him, tightening her grip. Tears ran down her cheeks. She moaned in her sleep and cried out. "No! Mommy no! Don't leave! Mommy!"
Brian's throat tightened and he fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She sounded like a little girl, lost and innocent. He stroked her hair and tried to calm her down. She cried harder, her whole body shook with tears. Brian sighed heavily; it was no use. He thought for a moment. He recalled a place among the heavens where he had used his voice with the choir. Their voices had enchanted even the most heavenly angel, bringing comfort and peace. He might not have that same strong voice but still he had to try. He started to sing a soft sweet melody. Jessica's cries grew quieter instantly.
"I try to pick the pieces up and I can't think of starting over. We used to share the stars above, I don't want to think of change and now I've got to move on I've got to catch up to the world and even though I gave you my life, as wrong as it seems I know it's right." He clutched her tighter; his enchanting voice left her feeling peaceful and calm. " And is there a place that I can go away, to escape the love that I'll forever know."
Jessica cuddled closer to him; her breathing became more even. "Where can we go from here? All I know is that I love you still. Sometimes we do things against our will. I know I cry lonely tears. Where can we go from here?" His voice reverberated softly; his chest rose and fell with the strengthening of his voice. "Why? Why do I cry inside for love that's gone away and how? How can I carry on when I know all the love is gone? Tell me where can I go to get away from the pain of loving you?"
Jessica's breathing slowed and she sighed contently. Her mind fought back the demons that she had been fighting for years and for once, for once in the long struggle to overcome them she won. She pushed them back with her mind and caged them against their will. And as Brian's voice echoed into her subconscious mind; she felt bright lights take hold of her and she finally knew peace.
Brian slowly softened his voice to a whisper. He stroked her cheek lovingly and softly finished the chorus. "Tell me where, Where can we go from here. All I know is that I love you still. Sometimes we do things against our will. I know I cry lonely tears. Where can we go" he paused and breathed heavily " From here." His voice came out in a whisper when he realized she slept soundly. He tried to move without disturbing her and nearly laughed when her grip tightened. "Okay, Okay. I'll stay." He whispered. Sighing he leaned back against the pillows and slowly closed his eyes, smiling when she laid her head upon his chest. He closed his eyes and sleep overtook him. Jessica snuggled closer to the warm body beneath her. She breathed in heavily and smelled a soft scent of cologne. Her mind played over the new sweet scent and warmth. Slowly she opened her eyes and blinked softly. She looked up and saw Brian's sweet face sleeping soundly. She smiled and reached up to brush a strand of hair out of his gorgeous face.
Tears welled within her eyes and a sob escaped her throat. She was confused. She didn't know this new feeling that suddenly passed over her. She felt; she felt happy. She didn't know how to cope with it. Happiness was something new. She wasn't used to feeling so content. She eased herself up slowly and cringed at her pounding head. That's when she noticed her surroundings. Wherever she was, it was gorgeous! The bedroom was magnificent. The walls were colored a beautiful sky blue. The bed she was laying on was atoned with white satin sheets, pillows, and blankets. The headboard itself was made out of black marble with in-tables connecting to it of the same structure. She glanced to her left and caught her image in the mirror, yet again atoned with the same black marble as the bed. Several flamed candles glowed softly, shining within the mirror. The glass shelf below the mirror held a few candles of several shapes and sizes, all of them black. As she glanced around she noticed several more candles surrounded her. The atmosphere it created was alluring and in a way very romantic.
And in a way it was very unnerving. This was a beautiful house in which she didn't belong. She didn't deserve to be here in this fancy room. She should have been living in the dump she had been living in all of her life. She didn't deserve such hospitality from a man she hardly knew.
She decided she would leave first chance she got. She stood up and glanced down at herself. Oh my god! She thought suddenly. She wasn't wearing any clothes! Her gaze flew from her body to the figure lying beside her. Her eyes grew wide when she realized he had undressed her.
She glanced down at her naked body again; biting her lip she reached out and grabbed for a blanket. She tugged without any success. The bastard had his full weight on the damn blankets. She cursed under her breath and tugged again, her hands slipped and she fell backward hard on the floor. Blankets went sprawling everywhere, and so did she.
She glanced up at a pair of beautiful blue eyes staring at her. His eyebrows were raised as if to say, what are you doing causing such a commotion. She snorted at him and quickly wrapped the now loose blanket around her bare shoulders.
She was raging with anger. How dare he? "How dare you?" she yelled. He smiled and she wanted to hit him. "How dare you undress me without my permission? Auugh, I can't believe this." She threw her hands up in a mad fit, the blankets dropping to her waist. Her eyes narrowed and she clutched them up again. She turned away so that he wouldn't see her blushing.
"You were burning up Jessica. I had no choice." He replied softly, his fiery gaze piercing her own.
"Ha! I'd like to have some clothes please." She said through gritted teeth. If she were dressed a little more descent she'd probably slap that smile right off his face. Then again if she were more decent she wouldn't have been in this position.
He said nothing.
She turned her head back at him, glaring. "Brian! Please, I'd like some clothes!" He smiled softly. "That's the first time you've said my name." He spoke in a whisper.
She barely heard him and yet she knew exactly what he had said. "What?" she asked again.
"I said I've never heard you say my name before."
She raised her eyebrows quizzically. "I haven't?"
He shook his head. "Say it again. Please." He asked softly.
She smiled suddenly and spoke his name, only in a whisper. "Brian."
He smiled back at her and climbed off the bed to retrieve her clothes. He left the room and once again she was angry. How had he done that? A few seconds ago she was so pissed off at him she could have hit him and the next second she was smiling with him over something as silly as saying his name for the first time.
"Eww." She screeched and picked up a pillow and threw it across the room. It hit a picture that was hanging on the wall. She gasped as the picture fell from its position and shattered to the ground. Glass shot out everywhere.
She rose slowly, holding the blankets to her. She walked over to where the shattered glass lay. She reached down to brush the glass off the picture. She flinched as a piece of shattered glass pricked her finger. "Ouch" she cried out. Blood fell from her injured finger and slowly feel onto the canvas. It seeped in forever staining whatever image the picture held.
She heard footsteps behind her and she quickly turned around. Brian stood there, clothes in his hands. His face was calm. She would rather he were mad at her. She didn't know what to do or how to handle the calmness, only the anger and harsh words. She just sat there holding her hand tightly.
Brian slowly walked over to her and crouched down beside her. He looked at the picture and then at the glass. "I… I'm sorry. It fell, I mean…" She tried to get out.
He held up his hand to stop her. "Hush, Jessica. It's all right. You're hurt." He calmly kneeled beside her and placed his hand upon her bare calve. Heat ran down her spine. She looked away but quickly turned back when he touched her hand She flinched at first but when she looked down she saw that her finger was no longer bleeding, the glass was gone and there wasn't a scar.
She looked up at him in awe, her eyes wide with fear and uncertainty. He smiled and brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. "You don't have to be afraid of me Jessica. I am here for you. I won't hurt you." His voice was soothing and calm.
Suddenly she felt ashamed, ashamed for all of the wrong that she had done. She felt as though she didn't deserve his hospitality because she wasn't a good person. She had hurt so many people and without a care in the world as to what she had been doing. She lowered her gaze, bowing her head. A single tear ran down her cheek, angrily she brushed it away.
Brian tried to get her to look at him but she brushed him off and turned away. She tried to control her emotions but she couldn't. Usually she was so good at that. Well she wasn't when she was around him that was for sure. She started crying and she couldn't stop despite how much she wanted to.
He reached out to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "No. Don't touch me. Everything that touches me or is near me turns bad."
"Jessica." He tried.
"No, leave me. Please. The last thing I want is for you to be hurt too. I don't know what is wrong with me, I've only known you for a few days and I already," she paused. "I already have feelings for you. Feelings I've never had, " she paused again letting out a deep painful sigh. "For anybody.":
Brian, still kneeling beside her and the broken frame and picture. He lifted up the picture showing her what it was. "Oh my god." She raised her hand to her parted lips.
The picture was the one that had been at Chad's old place. It was of her. She looked so innocent in it, like Brian. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion.
"Where did you get this?" she asked looking up at him.
"I told you. Your landlord has decided to take the house back and I salvaged this." Brian shrugged. "It was actually the only thing I took. I thought it resembled you so much."
She started crying harder. "No. No that's nothing like me. I'm not like that. I'm not, not." She tried. "Not innocent." Sobs shook her body.
"Oh, Jessica. Don't you see. This is you; this is the image that he saw you as. It is the image that I see of you now. You are she. This picture is merely a reflection of your heart, you just don't realize it."
She shook her head, tears running down her cheeks. Oh why couldn't he see that this picture wasn't her? She wasn't like that. She wasn't innocent or pure, she had hurt people and she had meant to hurt them. She had led a hard life and she had not cared about anybody before. Not Chad, even, sadly to say. She shook her head remembering how he had always told her he loved her even though she hadn't loved him back.
"I don't have a heart." Was all she said, silently.
Brian looked down at the shattered glass. He bit his lip, how could he show her that she was beautiful and that she was innocent. She might not have done the most innocent things but that didn't matter at all. She was a great person on the inside. She'd had to hide it for so long that she'd forgotten what it was like to be innocent, to love.
Brian slowly stood up, he took her hands in his own ignoring the spark that was there he pulled her to her feet. "Come with me Jessica." He led her, clutching the blanket to her chest, over to the glass shelf. He pulled back her hair and brushed it out of her eyes. "Look at yourself Jessica."
She shook her head but he insisted.
"Look." He commanded, pointing to her reflection.
Jessica turned away from her image, repulsed by what she saw. Why didn't he see that it was useless to try and help her. She wasn't worthy of his help and still he persisted. She wished she could just leave but something in her told her that she couldn't. Even though her mind told her she should have left a long time ago her heart told her she should stay.
Brian reached his long graceful fingers under her chin and turned her to face herself. Slowly he moved his hands to her own. He parted them both, letting her blanket fall to the floor.
Jessica stood naked, looking into the mirror, strangely though she didn't feel violated. It seemed normal in a strange way.
"This is who you are Jessica. This is what god has made you to be. You are human and you are allowed to make mistakes. God does not judge you for the mistakes you make as you think. He does not judge you on how you look, or how you talk, or what you have done in the past. God only judges you by how much love he can show you. He loves you, you should learn to love yourself."
His thumb stroked her cheek lovingly. His voice echoed within her mind. She had no choice but to listen. "Do not be ashamed of who you are. You are a person just like anybody else. They too have made mistakes, they too have thought they lost their innocence long ago. None of them have. We are all innocent on the inside even though we appear not to be on the outside. We are all innocent and so are you."
His eyes caught her own she felt spellbound by what she saw within them. There were clouds, endless clouds. It was as though looking in his beautiful eyes she had found a piece of heaven. It was, as though she had found a piece of herself she had thought long gone, apiece of her innocence.
"You have not lost your innocence, Jessica. You've only lost the part that believes you are. You have lost the part that learns to trust, to love to be happy. You guard your heart as though it's the only thing you can protect, and even then it gets hurt."
"Oh no you don't let it show." He shook his head. "No, you don't. You can't let others see you in pain for that is a sign of weakness."
He paused, staring at this beautiful girl in front of him. He had never seen beauty such as she. He had seen several beautiful angels, and yet none of their beauty compared to this human, this mere slip of a girl. He had learned something by being human, He had learned to love again. He had to show her that. He had to show her that she was loved and that she needed to relearn how to love herself.
"But what you don't understand, Jessica. Is that loving someone, being happy, trusting someone, is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of humanity, it's what separates you from everything else. You may be beautiful on the outside, but that is nothing compared to the beauty you have on the inside that you try so desperately to hide. You are beautiful Jessica."
His words spoke volumes to her, making her feel things she'd never felt before. His words went past her hard field of protection on the outside, they went past her hurt, pain, anger and fear, they went past all of that, and they reached love. Somehow, someway, this stranger saw her. He saw her; truly saw her. He saw her, past all of the hurt and pain. He saw that she was human, that she was allowed to make mistakes. It was as if his words had reached out and barred through her protective energies and they had caressed the very depths of what made her who she was, her soul.
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Nobody has ever called me beautiful before."
His heart went out to this girl, he retrieved the blanket that had fallen to the floor and wrapped it over her shoulders. His arms encircled her and he pulled her to him.
She lay her head on his chest and let the tears and sobs escape. Brian just let her be. He didn't speak for words could not help the pain she was feeling. He merely stroked her hair and let her cry. It was all he could do at this point, until she realized. Until she realized that she was a beautiful woman and she had a lot to offer others. Whether she knew it or not, she was worthy of love. After all… she had gained the love of an angel.