"GET UP!" I woke up to a pounding on my door. "Get up!" I heard Howie yelling in his normal, hyper voice. I turned over to look at my clock, geez! i thought to myself, its 6:00 am! As the pounding kept up, I climbed out of bed to answer the door.
"Howie?" I asked, half asleep. "Do you know what time it is?"
"6 o'clock! Get up!" He ran off to wake up Kevin down the hall. I shut the door, and walked back into my room, as my phone rang.
"Hello?" I asked in a groggy voice.
"Hey sweety! How are you?" I heard the sweetest voice on the other end.
"Well I was fine, until your little buddy, HOWIE, woke me up! Why do we have to get up this early?" I complained.
"Aww.....is my little baby tired?" Brian asked. "well, ya know you don't have to go."
"NO!! I DO!! I'll be ready in a half hour, come by my room." I told him. He agreed, and we both hung up the phone. I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and in exactly a half hour, my door rang. I opened up.
"How's my little sweetheart doing?" Brian ran in a scooped me up in his arms.
"BRIAN!! Put me down!" I said, laughing my head off. He finally dropped me. "So, are you ready to go?"
"Yeah, in a sec. I just have to finish my make-up." I walked over to the bathroom, and finished putting on my eye make-up. I slipped on my sandals, to go with my capri pants and walked out to the room. I saw Brian sprawled out on the bed, relaxing. I couldn't help but laugh.
"I'm ready!" I said, twirling around. He picked me up, over his shoulder and carried me out to his car. The other guys were waiting for us, and when we reached them Brian decided to put me down. I jumped in the backseat, with Nick as Brian opened the drivers side. AJ sat in the passengers seat. We arrived at the studio around 7 o'clock, and it was packed with fans screaming for the boys. Girls had posters, stuffed animals, t-shirts. You name it, they had it. I couldnt believe it- that was me, only a few weeks ago. Brian grabbed my hand and turned to me.
"You ready?" I smiled. I remembered the last time he had to do this, and apparently he did too. It was when he had to drag Leighanne through the airport the day I met him. At first he hesitated, then we jumped out of the car, together. I turned around and saw Shelly's hand was firmly in Kevins. We ran into the studio. Howie turned to us.
"You girls ok?" He smiled.
"Yeah, of course! what do you take us for? A bunch of Nicks?" All the guys started laughing, except Nick of course. He finally brushed it off. Rosie meeted us in the green room, and the guys told us to stay there while they went to get ready. Their was a playstation, breakfast, and a radio, so we kept ourselves occupied in the two hours. Meanwhile, the guys were busy with make-up, clothing and rehearsal. Rosie reviewed some of the questions she would be asking the guys, and they all agreed to stay off the subject of girlfriends. At about, 9:30, we heard a knock on our door.
"I'll get it." I turned to Shelly, who was busy looking at a magazine. I opened the door, to see Brian running in.
"HEY!! How's my baby?" He smiled at me, giving me a kiss on the lips.
"Brian, its only been 2 1/2 hrs!" Nick made fun of Brian. Brian just gave him a slighted, smirk. Kevin walked in a gave Shelly a kiss on the cheek, they were both happy to see each other too.
"OH CRAP!" Brian said. I turned to him, and put my hand on his shoulder.
"What is it? Whats wrong, honey?" He looked up at me.
"Guys, I just realized we haven't picked a song to perform!" Brian looked at the guys in shock. Kevin, being the fatherly figure, spoke up.
"Well, when I talked to Donna a couple days ago, she suggested we do 'That's What She Said'. Is that alright with you, Brian?" Kevin asked, since it was primarily his song. Brian looked down at the ground, then at me, then at Kevin. I had noticed something was wrong.
"Yeah, it's cool." He said, calmly. I knew it wasn't, but I wasn't going to argue. Something about that song, bothered him. About 10 minutes later, Rosie came into our room.
"You cuty-patuties ready to go?" She asked, giggling a little. All the guys smiled got in a group hug, then headed out. Shelly and I decided it would be best if we stayed backstage, for fear the fans might get angry. It was ok though, I personally think we had a better view.
"Wish me luck." Brian turned to me and gave me a hug.
"You'll do great." I kissed him on the cheek. Just then we heard Rosie say, 'Please welcome the BACKSTREET BOYS!' Shelly kissed Kevin good luck, and the guys walked out onto the stage. We were so proud of them. They climbed up onto the stools, and the music started. All the girls let out screams, and yelled to the guys. Some were even crying. Brian started to sing, when all of the sudden I noticed something was wrong. His voice was getting weaker, and was shaking. He looked like he had tears forming in eyes. he got through the first chorus, but just as he started the second verse the guys could tell something was wrong. They all sort of looked at each other, and tried to continue with backup vocals. I watched Brians every move, until I saw tears coming down his face. He couldnt do it. He got up off the stool, and ran out towards us. He blew by me, as the other guys just sat there, feeling a little awkward. Shelly turned to me.
"Go get him! I'll worry about the guys." We both could tell that they were a little pissed off. I turned to follow Brian down the hall, but he was running to fast for me to catch up. I kept yelling his name, but he just kept running until he reached the green room. I finally stopped in front of it, and knocked on the door since it was locked.
"BRIAN! Come on, let me in!" I yelled through the door. All I could hear was his sobs. I wanted to be there for him, to comfort him. "Brian, please!" I begged. Finally, I heard the door unlock. It slowly opened. Brian was standing there, his face tear stained and his body almost lifeless. I ran into his arms.
"Oh, Brian. It's gonna be alright." i said rubbing his hair. He just cried on my shoulder. We walked over to the couch and sat down.
"Brian, wha'ts wrong?" I looked into his red eyes.
"I can't, do---this." He managed to get out, between sobs. I just hugged him.
"Brian, it's ok. Just tell me, it'l be alright. I promise." I felt tears forming in my eyes, it killed me to see him hurting like this. He looked up.
"Sheilagh, the more I sang, the more i thought about Leighanne. How come she had to do this to me? I loved her so much. Oh god! How I miss her!" Brian cried harder. I just let him fall into my arms. I rubbed his back, hoping to comfort him. Then I heard a knock at the door. I let go of Brian, and walked towards the door. I opened it a little bit, incase it was some crazy fan that had managed to get backstage. It wasn't. I saw Nick there. I walked out into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I knew Brian didn't want Nick to see him like this.
"Sheilagh, is he ok?" Nick asked, being the concerned best friend.
"Nick, he's gonna be alright. Just give me 5 more minutes. It's really sweet that you checked up on him, where are the other guys?" I asked, looking behind him.
"Well........Kevin's totally pissed, Howie's trying to calm him down, AJ's on the phone with Donna trying to explain this to her and keep her cool, and I just want to make sure he's alright." Nick explained.
"That's really sweet, I am sure he would love it. I'll let him know about this later, just not now. I'll be out in a few." I turned around and walked back into the room. Brians in the same place I left him, but he seemed like he'd cheered up a little. I sat back down.
"Who was that?" Brian asked.
"Oh, just a fan." I lied.
"I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't of made it through any of this, with out you. I lvoe you soo much." Brian gave me a hug. "You ready to go back out there?" He stood up.
"Yeah, i'll be out in a sec. You go ahead." He kissed me on the lips, and walked out the door. I knew the guys wouldnt be happy to see him, but something else was bothering me. Something else was on my mind.