Everytime I close my eyes
I see your face and I wonder
Everytime you close your eyes
Do you think about me
Now I realize
I want you girl and no other
Everytime I close my eyes
You're all that I see
"Adrienne, I don't think I can do this," I said to my best friend.
"Oh come on Edie of course you can!" she replied.
"Easy for you to say! Besides, they probably won't even remember me. It's been 8 months."
"Of course they'll remember you! Especially Brian."
I swallowed hard. That was what I was most worried about. Seeing my ex-boyfriend again.
Adrienne had dragged me to the BSB concert, she'd dragged me backstage (though I found an excuse to leave long enough to avoid seeing them), and now she was going to make me see the guys, including Brian. Damn her!
We pushed through the crowd of screaming girls and made our way up front. Well, actually, SHE made her way up front, while pulling me along, of course. She started talking to the security guard.
"Hi, I'm Adrienne Morrison, A.J.'s girlfriend, and this is my best friend, Edie Palmer, she's a friend of theirs also. The guys are expecting us, so can you let us through so we can get on the bus?" she asked politely.
"Uh huh, sure. AJ's girlfriend. Do you wanna know how many times I have heard that? I get it enough from my 12-year-old daughter alone, but in addition to that I have to get it from all these girls," he replied.
Yes, yes, YES! I screamed inside my head. He wasn't gonna let us through! No such luck, though.
Just then, Q, one of BSB's bodyguards came up to us and said, " Let 'em through. They're tellin' the truth."
The guard knodded and let us through. Q led us to the bus.
"Hey Edie, long time no see," he said to me.
"Yeah, I know. Hi," I replied, forcing a smile.
We got to the bus and Adrienne practically ran up the steps. I, however, took my time, dreading seeing a certain person. Of course, I did get there in time to see the little scene Adri and her boyfriend were making.
"AJ!" she yelled, running to him.
"Adi!" he yelled back, also yelling to her.
Adi was a nickname for her the two of us had thought up when we were little. Adi and Edie, get it? Now, I rarely used that name for her (I called her Adri more than Adi), but AJ thought it was a cute pet name.
I hung back as the two of them embraced and started kissing passionately.
"You'd think they hadn't seen each other 10 minutes ago," I muttered.
The four remaining guys who WEREN'T making out with their girlfriends in front of everyone heard my comment and laughed. Then Howie looked up and realized it was me who had said it.
"Edie!" he exclaimed as he jumped up and hugged me.
Kevin and Nick got up and did the same. Brian remained on the couch.
"Where were you when we met Adrienne backstage?" asked Nick.
"I was in the bathroom," I lied.
The guys fell for it. Thank god. I didn't exactly want to explain to them that I had been hiding because I didn't want to see Brian.
AJ and Adri finally pulled away long enough for him to notice me.
"I'm so glad you made it!" he said, coming over to hug me. Adrienne had told him about my feelings about seeing Brian again. "I'm proud of you for coming," he whispered in my ear as we hugged.
"Well, thanks," I whispered back.
The bus started heading to the hotel. We all took our seats in the recreation area of the bus. It was about a 25-minute trip there. As soon as we were seated, everyone started scattering. Adri and AJ went to his bunk to 'talk' (if the definition of talking includes making out, which according to them, does), and Nick, Howie, and Kev went to the back to play video games. This left Brian and I, sitting in a room together, alone. Can you say tension?
We sat still and silent for about 20 minutes. Then Brian spoke.
"Look, Edie, when we get back to the hotel, change into something more comfortable and come down to room 618 in 10 minutes. I really need to talk to you."
I nodded silently, still not saying a word. In my mind I was thinking 'what the hell?', but I managed to stay cool. The bus pulled up to the hotel and we all got off. I went up to my room and changed out of the casual dress I was wearing. I put on some cargo pants and a cami and glanced at the clock. I was supposed to be in Brian's room in 3 minutes. Goody goody. I spent the remaining time messing with my hair. Not doing my hair, just playing around with different styles. When it was time, I quickly pulled my hair into a ponytail and headed for room #618. It didn't take me long to find it. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A moment later, the door opened to reveal Brian. He was wearing jeans and a Wildcats jersey. His curly hair was all over the place, as usual. As soon as he saw me, he got this look in his eyes. I couldn't figure out what it was, though. This drove me crazy, because I used to be able to read him like a book. His eyes were so telltale, at least to me, and I would always be able to tell exactly what he was thinking by looking in his eyes before. But, things between us had changed. I had to learn to accept that.
"Hey, come in," Brian said, breaking my thoughts.
I nodded and followed him into the room, closing the door behind me. He sat down on one couch and I sat down on the other. I looked over at the balcony sliding doors. There was a GREAT view of San Francisco at night.
"Edie," Brian said, breaking my thoughts once again.
"Yeah?" I replied.
"Ok, well, there is a reason I wanted to talk to you. I hate this tension, ok? I want us to be friends."
I snorted in attempt to hold back my laughter.
"Us? Friends? Have you forgotten that we broke up because we couldn't get along?"
"No, Edie, we broke up because we stopped trying to get along."
That one got me. I had to stop and think. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. We really had stopped trying, and that's what had caused the breakup. I sighed in defeat and gave in.
"Alright, we can be friends. Or we can try at least," I said pathetically.
Damn! I hate giving into people!
Brian grinned and went up to me and hugged me.
"Good, cause I've missed you," he said.
"I've missed you too," I replied weakly.
"See ya tomorrow."
"Ok, goodnight."
"Night."
I walked out of his room, my heart pounding. I was happy we were going to be friends, but I was also a little disappointed,,,wait. Stop right there. You guys broke up, remember Edie? All my romantic feelings for him were gone. Or were they?
I climbed into bed, deep in thought. Damnit! I tossed and turned and tossed and turned, but I couldn't get to sleep. I glanced at the clock. 2:38 AM. I knew I was never going to get any sleep if I didn't work this out, so I fixed my seriously screwed-up hair and headed over to Brian's room. I took yet another deep breath and knocked on the door. At first there wasn't any response. But then I heard some shuffling around, and the door opened. Brian was standing there in boxers and a t-shirt.
"Edie?" he squinted, surprised to see me.
"Yeah...sorry to wake you up...but..."
I reached up and kissed him gently on the lips. I pulled back and he stood there, shocked. Shit Edie! Why'd you have to go and do that? I scolded myself. I'm not sure why I kissed him, I just did. I looked at him and sighed.
"Ok, so I have some explaining to do..." I said.
"Um yeah, you do, come in," he said, stepping back.
I nodded and walked in, my cheeks bright red. I sat on the big couch and he sat down next to me.
"So..." he said, motioning for me to explain.
"Well, um, well, first I wanna apologize for doing that. I have no idea what got into me, and I hope it doesn't affect our friendship. Second, well, this is REALLY hard got me to say, but I'm just gonna risk it. I still have feelings for you, Brian."
I looked over at him, afraid of what his reaction would be. At first he looked shocked, and he was frowning. But then I watched as his facial expressions changed and his mouth slowly crept into a smile.
"Did you just say what I thought you said?" he asked, hope in his eyes.
"Yeah, I did," I replied.
He smiled.
"I never got over you, Edie. Never. I still love you, and I always will. I know we broke up because of the fighting, but I honestly believe that we can win this if we try. Wanna give it another shot?" he asked.
I grinned.
"Definitely."
He grinned back and leaned towards me. I closed my eyes, and a moment later I felt his lips meet mine. The moment we kissed, everything changed. Everything was right again. As far as we were concerned, we were the only ones in existence. The kiss became more passionate. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. After several minutes, we both pulled away.
"Wow!" he said breathlessly.
"Yeah, my thoughts exactly," I replied.
"I missed that a lot," he said.
"Yeah, so did I," I agreed.
Then we pulled in for another kiss. As we did, I realized that I was truly happy again for the first time since Brian and I broke up. Ok, so maybe we wouldn't end up getting married and having children together. People change, and you never know. We may grow apart some day. But I knew one thing for sure. I was in his arms again, right there, right then, and that was all that mattered.