"Which star is yours, AJ?" I whispered out loud, wishing he were there.
A footstep behind me alerted me to Kevin's presence.
"Hi, Kara," he said.
"Oh, hi Kev," I replied.
"Thinking about AJ?" Kevin asked softly, as though unsure about how I would react.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Yeah, I am," I replied. Then, before he could say anything, I continued. "And please, Kev, don't tell me to get over him already. I've heard that enough from insensitive jerks already."
"I wasn't going to tell you to get over him. But," he turned and put his hand on my shoulder, "you never will get over him if you don't let yourself."
I jerked away from his touch and stood up angrily.
"Don't you get it? It's not a matter of letting myself get over him! I've tried, Kevin. Don't you think I've tried? But I can't! Everyday, something or somebody reminds me of him. I've tried to put him out of my mind, and it just doesn't work! I just can't forget him, no matter how hard I try!"
I turned around to leave. Kevin stood up.
"Kara, I'm not asking you to forget him. I don't want you to just put him out of your mind and leave him behind. That would be as bad as never getting over him. But AJ would want you to move on. He wouldn't want you to spend your whole life thinking about him after he's gone! You know that as well as I do."
I whirled around back to him.
"Kevin, damnit, I've tried to move on. I'm trying not to spend my whole life thinking about him. It's just impossible."
He sighed in frustration.
"Good Lord, Kara, don't you get it? Getting over someone doesn't mean forgetting them. It just means letting yourself grieve. That's your problem, you want let yourself grieve over your loss. You've never cried, never asked anyone for help. You've just pulled back into yourself, away from the world. You're practically a walking zombie, Kara. You have to learn to let go."