Part 1 A

As I lay awake in my hospital bed, I kinda wonder what I'm waiting for. I'm thinking about the Backstreet Boys...kind of weird thing to be thinking of a couple weeks from dying. Yes, you heard me right. I'm 18 years old and I have cancer. The doctors give me about a month if you catch my drift. Just then, the door slowly opened. "Hello?" a voice behind the curtain said. It was a woman's voice, but not someone I recognized.

"Come in!" I said.

A lady, middle-aged, poked her head around the corner.

"Hi, my name is Mary Anne Richardson. I'm with the Make A Wish Foundation. We're made to grant terminally ill people their last wish." Normally, this would have made ANYONE mad, to find out they're gonna die, but I had faced the facts so it didn't bother me. "I just got a call from your doctor who told us your condition." I looked at her funny. "Okay, so what is the one thing you want to do or see before you..." she died down and didn't finish her sentence.

"Actually, there is." I said. "I've always wanted to meet the Backstreet Boys!" I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Okay!" she said. "Bye!" She ran out quickly without saying anything else.

I slowly fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to see my brother sitting there. He's 23. We had a little heart-to-heart talk while we played some games and watched t.v. Just then, the doctor came in.

"Brandi, how are you doing?" he started taking my blood pressure.

"You get paid for that. Why don't you tell ME!?"

He laughed.

~*Meanwhile, In Brian's Appartment*~

"So anyway, she called me a bastard, slapped me in the face and left. I just knew it would never work out between me and Leighanne. I just hate being single!"

The other guys laughed at him. None of them were single and now he felt like less of a man. Just then, the phone rang.

"Kevin, can you get that?" Brian hollered to Kevin in the kitchen. "Yeah!" Kevin yelled. "Hello?"

"Yeah, Kevin, I have something for you guys to do tomorrow." the lady said. She was their manager.

"Yeah, what is it?" Kevin continued making his sandwich.

"Well," she continued. "You know the Make A Wish Foundation?" Donna said.

Just as she said that, Kevin got quiet. "Well, um, yeah. What's up?"

"Well, there's a girl who wants to meet you guys. So do you think you guys could go to the hospital soon and see her? That's her last wish!"

Kevin was saddened by this. He hated doing this for the simple reason that he always got close to the people and then they died.

"Well, can you give me some stuff on her?" Kevin asked quietly.

"Yeah, Kevin, um, she's 18." Kevin gasped. She was too young to die. "And her name is Brandi..." Donna stopped a minute, afraid to say the next thing.

"Yeah, Donna, what is it? Hurry!"

"Kevin, she's dying of ....cancer."

Kevin took a deep breath. That's what he lost his father to. He didn't like cancer. Nobody does.

"Um, Donna, what hospital is she at?" Donna rustled some papers.

"University of Kentucky Medical Center." She replied.

"Oh, so she's right down the road?" Kevin replied softly.

"Yep. Tell the other guys and go see her tomorrow. Room 220. Got that?"

Kevin wrote it down. "Yep, I got it. Should I call the hospital and let 'em know I'm coming?"

"Yeah, Kevin, you should....See ya!"

She hung up, as did he. He almost started crying, thinking about the girl, but he didn't. He got up from the table and walked into the living room.

"Uh, guys, tomorrow, we have something to do."

Brian looked at him weird. Kevin had a look on his face that Brian had only seen when Kevin found out his dad died.

"Kevin, man, what's up?" Brian asked with genuine concern. He knew something was wrong.

"Well, we have to meet somebody. The Make A Wish foundation asked us if we'd meet her." He stopped for a second to let everything sink in.

"Make A Wish? Isn't that for sick people? What's wrong with her?" Brian looked at his cousin.

"Cancer." Kevin replied emotionally, tears almost springing up in his eyes. "She's 18 and it's her last wish to meet us. We should also let her sit front row at our concert Friday."

Brian smiled at Kevin. "Let's go see her. I can't wait....but...it's so hard...letting go, ya know."

Kevin nodded in agreement with Brian. He went to his room and took a nap.

~*Back In My Hospital Room*~

"Brandi, honey, is there anything certain you want me to bring you?"

The nurse had just told me that I was getting important visitors tomorrow and that I should dress up. So, now my mom's interrogating me.

"Mom, how about my blue skirt and my white tank top?" I asked her with false happiness.

"Well, okay, sweetie. I'll bring it later tonight."

Even though I'm sick, you'd think I was thin and frail...but surprisingly, I'm not. I'm still the way I was before I got sick.

It was 6:00 at night and I was BORED outta my mind.

"So, mom, who are my visitors?" I was curious and no one was telling me anything.

"I don't know," she replied. "You know about as much as me. I guess you'll find out tomorrow."

I nodded. I started flipping through the channels and stopped on the advertisement channel 'cause it played cool music.

"And that's 'Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely' by the Backstreet Boys, takin' us back 2 years. And for all you Backstreet Boys fans out there, they're having a concert Friday at Rupp Arena. Chances are, it's probably sold out, but if you're lucky, VERY lucky, you can snag a pair. You just have to know where to look."

I smiled. I clicked off the t.v. I wanted to see the Backstreet Boys in concert just once before I died, but that's never gonna happen. The nurse brought my dinner. UGH, I hate hospital food. I ate slowly and when I was done, it was about 8 o'clock. My mom had already came and brought me my clothes, so I decided to go to sleep. That night, I didn't sleep too well, but I did get some sleep cause I did wake up.

I woke up at 8 o'clock the next morning.

"Good morning!" My mother said. She was sitting by my bed

"Hi mom. What time is it?"

She looked at her watch. "8:00. Are you excited about your visitors?" She looked at me.

I laughed. "If I knew who they were, THEN I would be excited. When are they supposed to come?"

She looked at her watch again, thinking. "At 9:30. You have time to take a shower, get dressed and eat breakfast. So go do that now and I'll set your clothes out on the bed."

I nodded and went to take a shower. I got out at 8:45 and I got dressed. I put my white baseball cap on and walked out into the hall. By this time, it was 9:00 so we went to eat breakfast. I scarfed my food down and was soon done with 10 minutes to spare. We walked back to my room and I flipped through the channels, stopping on the music channel. "Show me the meaning of Being Lonely" by the Backstreet Boys." Said the radio announcer. God, they've played that song an awful lot lately. I decided to sing along. "Show me the meaning of being lonely, is this the feeling I need to walk with? Tell me why I can't be there where you are, there's something missing in my heart!" I heard a weird echo. "Life goes on, as it never ends." I stopped singing and STILL heard the echo. Suddenly, Brian Littrell walked through the curtains followed by Kevin, Nick, AJ and Howie. Breathe, Brandi, Breathe. Brian walked up to me.

"Hey, you must be Brandi. I'm Brian, but you probably already knew that."

They all followed his lead and finally together said "And we're the Backstreet Boys!"

I smiled at Brian. He hugged me and sat on the side of my bed. "So, what's up?" he asked.

"Not much, just listening to music. This hospital is SOOOO boring."

Brian laughed.

"Come here, Brian." Nick said.

They walked behind the curtain and I could hear them whispering.

"Hey, doc, come here." Brian asked the doctor. "Can we take Brandi out for the day?" Brian looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Well, depending on what you're gonna do!" He said as more of a question than an answer.

"We were thinking about taking her to Kentucky Kingdom! She has to have SOME excitement in this boring life of hers."

The doctor looked through his clipboard. "Okay, but be careful. She could go into convulsions at any given time and you know what that could do."

Kevin nodded. He knew all too well.

"Well, have her back here by 6:00. She has to have her medication. Okay? Got that?"

Brian hollered "Yes!!!"

They all walked out from behind the curtains.

"Brandi, get changed. We're going to KY Kingdom."

My eyes got really big. I'd never been there but now I get to go with the Backstreet Boys...THE Backstreet Boys. I was so excited. Everyone left the room and I quickly changed.

"Okay, guys, I'm ready to go." I put on my red Backstreet Boys hat and we walked out of hospital.

That was a week ago. The best day of my life. I'm sure I'll never forget it. Ever since then, Brian has taken time out of his day to come visit me. It's great too. To have a friend like that. We talk about everything and we share secrets. I'm lying in my hospital bed thinking. Brian just left and I'm in a good mood. I begin flipping through the channels. I turn to the music channel and surprisingly, I hear "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely"! It's become my favorite song now. When Brian visits, I ask him to sing it. Secretly, I think it's our song. Brian and I are becoming so close....too close. I know I'm not gonna be around much longer, but still, unintentionally, I lead him on. Now, when I die, I'll leave Brian lonely. I don't want to do that to him. I love him.

My thoughts were interrupted by the doctor. "Miss Cardullo?" I looked at him and saw something that I'd only seen once before. All of a sudden I got scared.

Yeah?" I said, fearing the worst.

"Well, we just got the results of you're tests and it's been confirmed...Well, I'll just come right out and say it. At the most, you have about 3 weeks. I'm sorry. If you'd like, I could call your mother and have her come down here to be with you!" He walked over to my bed side and grabbed my hand.

"Uh, no, I don't want her here just yet. But if you could, call Brian. If he's busy, don't worry about it!"

He nodded and walked out as I burst into tears. I had known this day would come...it was inevitable, but I was still scared.

~*Meanwhile, At Dance Rehearsal*~

"Brian, let's try this one more time!"

Brian's head was spinning and he felt something just wasn't right. He couldn't think straight and he had been doing horrible all day. Just then, a cell phone rang and everyone picked theirs up to check it. It was Brian's.

"Hello? Yes. Brandi? Oh, God, is she okay?! You can't tell? Fine. No, I'm not busy. I'll be right there. Yeah. Bye!" Brian quickly clicked off the phone and grabbed his keys and his jacket from the table. "Sorry, guys, emergency. I'll be here early tomorrow. I promise!" and he was out of there before anyone had time to protest.

The drive to the hospital seemed to last forever. Finally, when he did get to the hospital, he quickly found a parking spot and ran inside. He took the elevator to the cancer ward and ran to her room.

~*In My Room*~

I had fallen asleep and my eyes were swollen from crying. Then I heard it.

"Brandi?" I turned around to see Brain walking towards me. "You're okay! God, he told me it was an emergency. I imagined the worst. What's the matter?" He was breathless and it was plain to see that he had ran here.

"Well, uh, Brian, please sit down. I have something to tell you." He hesitantly did as I asked him, sitting in the chair near my bed. "I, uh, just missed you, so I wanted you here." I looked at him. "You don't mind do you?" I stopped a second so even I could comprehend what I had just said. I meant to tell him, I really did, but I didn't know how to. I looked at him and saw a stream of tears cascading down his lost, innocent face.

"No, I don't mind." he said.

"And finally, will you sing me the song?" I asked.

"Okay, sweetie, but before I do, can I ask you something?" I nodded. I wondered what he was gonna ask. "Will you be my girlfriend?" I gasped. I thought for a second and nodded. I know it was selfish, but I wanted someone to love me once before I died...and I could tell Brian did. "Yes!" I replied.

He smiled. "And can you promise me something?" I nodded. "Promise me we'll be together forever."

"Yes, Brian. We'll be together forever. I may not be here physically but, no matter where you are, who you're with or what arena you're playing, I will always be there for you. In mind, soul and spirit. We'll meet again someday, I promise."

With that, he nodded and began singing.

Show me the meaning of being lonely

So many words for the broken hearted
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I can feel the sun
Your every wish will be done they tell me

Tears started coming again, and I sighed. I felt so bad.

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missin' in my heart

Life goes on cause it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze
Guilty roads to an endless love
There's no control
Are you with me now
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missin' in my heart

There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body and soul
How can it be you're asking me to feel
The things you never show

You're missing my heart
Tell me why I can't be there where you are

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missin' in my heart

He stayed choked up through the song. But I can understand that. I could tell it was tearing him up inside. Out of nowhere, it came.

"Brandi, I love you. Over these past few weeks, I've grown a wall around my heart for everyone but you. How will I ever learn to love again? Ya know, that song is so appropriate for the situation..."

He stopped and looked down. He stood up and grabbed my hand as I wiped a tear from my cheek. He leaned in and kissed me and I let him. As the kiss progressed, I pulled his shirt over his head. I knew what was coming next. I looked fairly decent for my stage of cancer, so I'm sure sex wouldn't hurt.

He quickly got off the bed and walked to the door. He slowly locked the door and turned to look at me. My heart was pounding 'cause I was so nervous. This was my first time and it was with someone that I had admired from afar for over 6 years.

We made love for the next hour and we were both worn out. I put on Brian's T-shirt and he put on his boxers. He laid his head on my chest and we both fell asleep with tears in our eyes.

Part 1 B