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PEOPLE Online had a chat with Dr. Drew Pinsky, better known as Dr. Drew, host of the popular late-night syndicated radio show "Loveline," now seen on MTV, and the editor-in-chief of www.drdrew.com.
PEOPLE Online: Welcome, Dr. Drew, and thank you for chatting with us tonight! We have so many wonderful questions for you.
Dr. Drew: Thank you. My pleasure.
PEOPLE Online: Here's our first question.
Question: Hey, Dr. Drew, I have a question. My girlfriend wants to have a threesome with me and another girl, but I love her and I think maybe she is bi and won't tell. What do you think?
Dr. Drew: I think if you love your girlfriend, you shouldn't do this. It's rare for a relationship to survive this sort of stress. And if she is, in fact, bisexual, you need to be discussing this with her.
Question: I am a 24-year-old female with 2 children and never had an orgasm. Is there any help for me?
Dr. Drew: Of course. I'm suspicious. Even if you've had two children, I'm suspicious if you've had an intimate relationship. For women, it's often difficult to function sexually without the feeling of a safe emotional place. And if you've never been able to explore that kind of experience through masturbation, it makes sense that you would be having some difficulties.
Question: So, how can you tell if you’re in love?
Dr. Drew: It would help to know age, circumstance, duration of problem, some context. I can't really answer a general question like that.
Question: Dr. Drew, my question is about life. I'm 22, have a family, married for 3 years. Something is missing in my life -- I can’t figure it out. I'm always depressed! I'm mean to my wife verbally. I need help. Could you send me in the right direction?
Dr. Drew: Well, at very minimum you've told me you're depressed, and that can make people feel guilty, worthless and irritable. Whether or not there are other specific dynamic issues remains to be seen. But, by all means, have your depression treated. Unfortunately, people feel very stigmatized about the treatment of depression, and that's silly. I wrote a book on dealing with depression called “Restoring Intimacy.” It particularly deals with the interpersonal aspects of depression. You can get it through drdrew.com. Look up sites we like and click on National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association.
Question: What have you had to go through to become a doctor and have your own show on MTV? And does it feel good to help people with these problems?
Dr. Drew: It's a very, very long story. Many long hours and sacrifices. But I'm one of the most grateful people you'll ever meet. How much better does it get than an opportunity to practice your craft in many ways and where your only job is to do good and help people?
PEOPLE Online: Dr. Drew, we are getting lots of questions about your web site, www.drdrew.com Can you tell us what we can expect to find there?
Dr. Drew: First of all, there's lots of information, lots of lively community. The most interesting experience for me has been to chat every day with our users and to watch communities develop, people supporting one another. Finally, be sure to check out the drdrew.com show, which is a streaming video talk show once a week where the same celebrities you seen on “Loveline” open up even more than you've ever seen. There are hundreds of frequently asked questions and music reviews and celebrity stories.
Question: I had sexual intercourse at age 13 -- my boyfriend was 15. What could be the possible effects of this later in life?
Dr. Drew: Well, I've yet to talk to a young woman who engaged in activity at this age and didn't regret it. So there's some degree of shame and guilt to all this. More importantly, early initiation of sexual activity is associated with cervical cancer, so be sure to get yearly health screening, meaning pap smears.
Question: Dr. Drew, I have a very confusing life. I am in love with someone that I can't have because he lives far away, and I am dating someone who lives down the street from me that I have lost my love for. I think I love them both, but I don't know what to do.
Dr. Drew: First of all, you've just said you're not in love with the one down the street. The other one is more of a fantasy than any real intimacy. Admit that the relationship down the street is over, and go find a real relationship.
Question: Dr. Drew, I love you and Adam on “Loveline,” and I need to ask you something. Besides the obvious, how does someone know if they're gay? I've had boyfriends, but lately I've been attracted to girls too. Thanks for your help!
Dr. Drew: Women are frequently attracted to other women. Particularly, younger women tend to confuse feelings of intimacy and closeness to sexual feelings. Specifically, someone is not gay if they are not sleeping with someone of their same sex.
Question: Do you think it's realistic to have a relationship with a man who's 14 years younger than you? We are dance (ballroom) partners.
Dr. Drew: Yeah, it's realistic, provided both of you are adults, that is both of you are both 21. I wonder why this relationship has not blossomed so far. But I don't see a big problem.
Question: Dr. Drew, I am involved with a man who is 13 years older than me. I am 43 and he is 56. He is the most wonderful man I've ever known, and he wants to get married. I am concerned about the age difference, though. Should I be?
Dr. Drew: Same answer as the previous questioner. I don't see a problem with this at all. There must be something else going on here.
Question: I've been dating a guy for over 2 1/2 years. Last June, he moved to Wisconsin. I live in Virginia. Things have been going great, except the last couple of weeks he's been acting different. I've tried talking to him, and it's been better. Do you think long distance can work?
Dr. Drew: For most young people, distance is essentially insurmountable. The usual situation where you see this is someone going away to college, or both going away to college. And it's important to experience yourself in your own peer involvement. So I don't usually encourage people to stay together when life has pulled them apart. It's important to remember that most relationships for people under the age of 20 aren't going to last a lifetime. It's part of the exploration of who you are.
Question: Is it worth it to tell a guy I like him, even though I am almost sure the feeling is not returned?
Dr. Drew: Yeah, it certainly can't hurt if you are not going to be traumatized by the rejection. And it's the only way you're going to know for sure.
Question: Dear Dr. Drew, is it possible to make in love [sic] with someone like your own husband if say after 10+ years you just don't feel it anymore? All is well in the marriage, it's just that loving feeling is gone.
Dr. Drew: Pay very close attention to this fact: it means that the intimacy is in trouble. And eventually there will be a consequence for this. Usually when women feel this way, they're telling their husband that something is missing. But the man doesn't understand or know how to respond in such a way as to reconnect. Don't be afraid to tell him that you need more from him. Don't wait until you're angry. Communicate clearly. Don't accept the status quo.
Question: I am 40 (female), and my sexual drive is at its highest. I have met men on the internet, all older, married, and their sexual drive is strong also. What I wonder is, why is it that married men do such a thing? I like married men -- no commitment.
Dr. Drew: There are loads of this out there. I feel sorry for their spouses. Don't be part of the problem.
Question: Dr. Drew, I listen to “Loveline” and watch it. My girlfriend has told me she doesn't want sex to get boring. I try to show her new things, but she doesn't want to learn. What should I do?
Dr. Drew: Realize that for a young woman, boring means disconnected, not romantic. For a guy, it means needing more physical acrobatics. But she's telling you that she needs more romance. Figure out what that is.
Question: Hi! My husband and I have been married for 5 years and I just had our second child. Since I've had him, I have been wanting sex constantly. Is it normal, maybe hormonal? He acts like I am wearing him out. I thought men want it all the time!
Dr. Drew: It's obviously something to do with the pregnancy. Most women actually have a drop-off in sex drive just after delivery. Have you changed birth control pills? Is there anything else that can be contributing to this? Men have their limits.
Question: Dr. Drew, I love the radio show with you and Adam. There is a real chemistry, humor and, of course, you usually know more about the caller than the caller usually realizes himself. Do you have a private practice, or are you too busy these days? Thanks.
Dr. Drew: I practice medicine every day. I have a general medical practice, and I run an addiction recovery program in a psychiatric recovery program. I'm pretty busy.
Question: I have problems committing to a relationship. I tend to like a man a lot until he falls for me, and then I back off. I have never been sexually abused, but I did grow up without a father (from ages 4-14) after he passed away. How do I get over this?
Dr. Drew: At least you know what's causing all this. There you go. Until you can be vulnerable and open yourself to a real connection, you're going to keep sabotaging. There really is a place for therapy in situations like this. It's your choice: stay on this merry-go-round or get some treatment and begin engaging in real relationships.
PEOPLE Online: Dr. Drew, any final thoughts for all of your fans?
Dr. Drew: Meet in me chat rooms at drdrew.com at 7PM PST. We will follow with a streaming video show at 7:30. Guests are Jaime Pressly and also Larisa Oleynik. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. Be good to each other.
PEOPLE Online: Dr. Drew, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat with us tonight.
Dr. Drew: Thank you. Appreciate it.
PEOPLE Online: It was a very enlightening chat, to say the least. And thank you to our audience for their wonderful questions. Good night, everybody!
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