August 30, 1999
Date: Mon, Aug 30th 1999 14:45:20
From: sara@drDrew.com
To: mailinglist@drDrew.com
Subject: drDrew.com Newsletter -- August 30, 1999
THE OFFICIAL DRDREW.COM NEWSLETTER
August 30, 1999
**********************************************************************
In this issue:
* Win a Trip to Hollywood to Meet Dr. Drew!
* Drew responds to your letters on Woodstock
* A personal note from Dr. Drew about a death in his family
* Dr. Drew answers questions on breasts, drugs, orgasms, and relationships
**********************************************************************
**********************************************************************
WIN A TRIP TO HOLLYWOOD TO MEET DR. DREW!
Now that you registered at drDrew.com, you are eligible to win a trip for
you and a friend to visit Hollywood and meet Dr. Drew. Also, every day, one
of our members will win an autographed copy of the "Dr. Drew and Adam
Book." See site (www.drDrew.com) for details. You have a chance to
win--make sure your friends do too!
Congratulations to drDrew.com daily book winners from last week:
Cricket428, Swiftlogic, Cboflash1, Mark_hole, Billybill, Twixana, Xaxillax!
See the newsletter next week for this week's winners.
**********************************************************************
**********************************************************************
Dear Member,
First of all, I have to thank all of you again for your thoughtful letters
regarding violence at Woodstock (and your letters regarding self
mutilation). I cannot tell you how great it is to read the thoughts you
share with us. My staff--Sara, Jennifer, and Dr. Tim--and I really appreciate
the tremendous responses we've been getting. What a great job we have here
at drDrew.com to hear the voices of our community, connecting with people
from all over the country.
The letters on Woodstock, and on concerts in general, varied in length and
ideas, but there were many stories sent in by young women about being
groped and assaulted at shows. There were also many letters from young men
saying how disgusting the behavior at concerts can become. With this kind
of awareness spreading, hopefully we all can start taking action when we
witness a stranger being hurt in public. I am looking forward to posting
these letters on the drDrew.com web site when we launch next month, and I
hope you'll take the time to read through them. In the meantime, here is an
excerpt from one of the letters I read:
"We have to take responsibility for ourselves and for those around us. I am
not saying you should go charging in against someone who is armed. If you
see trouble, though, do something. Trust your gut. If something about what
you're seeing looks wrong to you, it probably is. People who just sit there
and allow someone to be beaten to death or gang raped^Ċin my mind, are just
as guilty as those who committed the crime."
Thanks again for your letters.
On a more personal note, my mother-in-law recently passed away and we laid
her to rest at sea with a brief ceremony with family members. After the
funeral, I was struck with how much I had learned from the experience.
Before my mother in law's death, I witnessed the incredible courage my wife
showed in making her peace with her mother. As she lay dying, my wife sat
at her mother's bedside and expressed her feelings--bravely releasing her
mother so she could pass on in peace. I felt very proud of my wife.
The funeral also made me feel connected to something greater than myself. I
thought about the incredible mystery of life, and about this amazing
person, my mother in law, who grew up in this world, who created another
life, and then returned to the energy source from which she came.
I felt very lucky that I could be so helpful to my wife and her mother in
law as they dealt with her dying. With my training, I made sure appropriate
care was being given to my mother in law and that she was comfortable. I
also prepared my wife for what she was likely to encounter when she visited
her mother.
I am curious if any of our members would wish to share experiences of loss
recently, and moreover how we can assist you in the community to deal with
these incredibly powerful experiences. What can we provide for you here to
help regulate some intense feelings and create purpose in a situation which
may be difficult to make sense of? Let us know.
Stay well,
Dr. Drew
**********************************************************************
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
**********************************************************************
QUESTION 1: Is it normal not to have had one relationship, not even
seriously dating, by the time you are 18 or even 25?
Dr. Drew: This would not be unusual by the age of 18. It is very common for
people at this age to begin experiencing themselves for the first time as
they become more independent, often going to college. Only then do they
gain a sense of themselves as an independent person in a relationship.
There is an opportunity to develop relationships in an entirely new peer
and social environment.
If a person has not had a relationship by the age of 25, however, I often
get suspicious that there may be other issues present. This individual
could have a fear of abandonment, difficulty with trust, some medical
condition or side effects from medication, or perhaps even a mood
disturbance (such as depression). Each of these may interfere in one's
ability to manage a close relationship. I would certainly look into
possible reasons and consider talking with a trained therapist.
Interpersonal experience is an essential part of the human growth
experience and potential for fulfillment in life.
QUESTION 2: I'm 18 and my girlfriend is also 18. When we have sex, I can't
cum. We probably do it for about 30-40 minutes straight. I'm erect but just
don't ejaculate. Sometimes I even lose my erection right after oral sex.
I'm not taking any medications and haven't taken them in the past and can
have an orgasm watching videos. Is there anything wrong from me?
DR. DREW: This is usually a problem that will diminish as you gain comfort
with your sexuality. You will naturally develop an increasing comfort and
closeness with a particular partner. The most common reason for sexual
dysfunction in males your age is actually anxiety. Most professionals would
recommend that you initially try to take your focus off the orgasm and
focus on the intimacy with your partner. As you continue to increase
pressure on yourself and expectation of performance, you escalate your
anxiety and frustration. This will simply shut down your ability to reach
orgasm.
QUESTION 3: What is the difference between someone doped up on an
antidepressant medication and someone doped up on alcohol or pot?
DR. DREW: The first difference is that antidepressants do not activate the
regions of the brain required for addiction to occur, so they do not have
the capacity to trigger addiction. On the other hand, alcohol and marijuana
are chemicals that induce a reward activation in a very primitive region of
the brain. They also can cause euphoria. As such, they are potential drugs
of abuse and, in genetically inclined individuals, ultimately become
addictive. If someone is depressed, they may temporarily get some relief
from marijuana or alcohol. However, use of these substances will eventually
further contribute to depression.
As for how they make you feel, antidepressants can sometimes cause sedation
as a side effect. However, given the vast choices of antidepressants these
days, one should be able to find an antidepressant that does not cause any
undue sedation or cause someone to feel "doped up." In the end, while
antidepressants may not provide immediate relief, they will ultimately have
a true therapeutic effect on the treatment of depression.
QUESTION 4: I know its normal for your breasts to be uneven, but I heard on
a documentary that the only way to even them out is through plastic
surgery. My breasts are more than a cup size difference. One side has
continued to grow for 2 years. What else can I do? Is there a chance that I
will even out?
Dr. Drew: Uneven breasts are very common. There is definitely a probability
that things will even out. If you are under the age of 21, you should
anticipate continued growth. Furthermore, after having children and
breastfeeding, your breast dimensions often change and things could even
out after that. You should also know that men are not particularly bothered
by this sort of asymmetry. If I could in any way persuade you to get
comfortable with your body, I'd suggest that you wait this out. I am sure
that you will find a caring partner who will not find this to be such an
issue.
**********************************************************************
IMPORTANT NOTE: The content presented in this newsletter is not intended to
take the place of professional medical treatment. For specific medical
concerns, you should seek the advice of a qualified health provider.
**********************************************************************
**********************************************************************
MORE DRDREW.COM QUESTIONS COMING YOUR WAY NEXT WEEK. BE SURE TO ELL ALL
YOUR FRIENDS TO REGISTER AT WWW.DRDREW.COM, AND CHECK OUT OUR CONTEST TO
MEET DR. DREW IN PERSON!
**********************************************************************
**********************************************************************
To Unsubscribe: send mail to lists@drDrew.com
with "unsubscribe mailinglist" in the body of the message
