25 Snappy Answers to The Question:

"Why aren't you married yet?"

1. Just lucky, I guess.

2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.

3. What? And spoil my great sex life?

4. Nobody would believe me in white.

5. Because I just love hearing this question.

6. You haven't asked yet.

7. It gives my mother something to live for.

8. My fiancé, in cell block C, is awaiting parole.

9. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss America.

10. Do you know how hard it is to get one ticket to a Pearl Jam concert, much less two?

11. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.

12. It didn't seem worth a blood test.

13. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.

14. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.

15. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.

16. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.

17. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.

18. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.

19. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

20. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?

21. We really want to, but my lover's wife just won't go for it.

22. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.

23. Why aren't you thin?

24. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.

25. (And a bonus reply especially for single moms) - Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.


That being said, . . . go take a hike.

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