Nikki: Justin darling! How are you sweetie?

Justin: Um, who do heck dis be?

Nikki: Oh... ha ha... this is Nikki

Justin: Oh ok. Listen, Nik. JC don't want you to be callin here no mo. Him and Bobb--

Nikki: No, no, no. Not Nikki from InnoSLUTS. Nikki from the website, got Justin?

Justin: Who?

Nikki: Ha ha. Listen, *cough*, Missi and I were wondering if you were willing to come down to Missi's crib for a little one-on-one interview? Yaknowhati'msayin???

Justin: Look woman. I dunno who dis is, so I'm gonna hang--

Nikki: Hey! There'll be food.

Justin: Food? Who cares if.... ::in the background Joey yells, "Food? Oh, can I come? Tell those hunnies they can interview me!":: shut up, Joe!

Nikki: Look, if you come I can give you a 2 for 1 coupon for my uncle's Pawn Shop okay?

Justin: Awwww... hells ya! I'll be there yo.

Nikki: Coo baby. Here's her address....

Two hours later, Justin arrives at Missi's house and we take him to where the actual interview will take place... Missi's bedroom. Rarrr.

Missi: Why Justy, how nice to see you.

Justin: Ya ya. Yo, I gots go be at Britn---, uh at a charity dinnah. So ask you questions, and gimme da coupon so I can haul my butt outta here.

Nikki: Okay, our little man. Just sit your firm little buns right heeeeere.

Missi: My, you're in good shape. Must be all that "heavy dancing..."

Nikki: *cough*. Okay, well our first question: as a Tenessee native, do the folks at the trailer park express any resentment towards you?

Justin: *sniffle, sniffle*. Aw, why you gotta bring up the ole trailer park? Dem people are vicious yo... dey be throwing rocks at me, yelling "SELLOUT!", shoo. And I do nuttin to em yo. I just mind my bin'ess.

Missi: There there sweetcakes. Momma's here, momma's here. ::starts rubbing on his thigh::

Nikki: EHEM. Missi, will we please try to contain ourselves? *wink wink*.

Missi: Hee hee, sorry. I'll try. Okay, so o your j-curls ever frizz out? If so what product do you use to "calm" them down?

Justin: Aw word? Yeah, when dey get all crunk and start frizzin, I just steal some o JC's oil slick. He got so many bottles, he don't even notice.

Nikki: Mmmmkay... so moving right along. What goes through your head when doing what you do so well...thrusting as they say?

Justin: I just think about all da fine hunnies watchin me, lustin after dis work of art. Ya know, it's what keeps me the favorite. I am the favorite ya know? Not JC. It's me! Me! Me!

Nikki: Aight, aight. Jeez, we get it. Don't worry you're our favorite. Dang.

Missi: Speaking of work of art... who designs those hideoous huge gold necklaces you wear that hang so tacky from your neck? They are not sexy, babe.

Justin: ::reaches for his "JRTMan necklace":: Dis? Whatchu talkin bout tacky? These are pimp dude. Man, I'm so coo wit dis. Homes, I am da flyest guy in da group!

Missi: Can we please keep the worshipping of thyself to a minimum? We have a few questions left. Nikki?

Nikki: Who taught you your foreign language? And why can no one else understand it?

Justin: Foo, I don't talks no foreign nuttin. I just talk bout wha my homies and me speaks. No messin bout it.

Nikki: What? Look Funky funk, you are a very white boy. You're not black, as much as you want to be okay? So if you please, let's try communicate like normal people. I am not your homie okay?

Justin: Yo woman. "I feel ya".

Missi: Okay, I last question. When you look at yourself in the mirror every morning, which do you prefer to say, "Damn I'm foine!" Or..."Justin, God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On YOU!"

Justin: How do you know I be lookin at my foine self everday in the mirror and say somethin?

Missi: Ha ha, we have our ways. Anyways, please answer the question.

Justin: Ya know, it really be up to mah mood. When I be looking good, I say, "Damn I'm foine." But when I be lookin real good, I say "Justin, God must have spent a little more time on YOU!" Know what I'm talkin bout?

Nikki: Uhh yeah, sure we do. I really see the difference. Alrighty, that is the end of the interview. Thanks for your time. Oh yeah, here is your 2-for-1 coupon for my uncle's Pawn Shop. It's at the corner of Fifth and Main.

Missi: We'll talk to ya later, aight baby? Or even better, we could do a lil sumthin sumthin right now, you up for it? We'll give you a little 2 for 1 special.

Justin: Aw real? Heeeeeeck ya. I gots time.