Clearer Alcohol Warning Labels
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
the same boring story over and over again until your
friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what happened to your pants.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll
over in the morning and see something really scary --
whose species and/or name you cannot remember.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, handomer and smarter
than some really, really big guy named Bruiser.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you are invisible.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in
the time-space coninuum, whereby (and somtimes large)
gaps of time may seem to disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually *cause* pregnancy.
Email: aaronsteinmetz@yahoo.com
