Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, school history, job
history, ancestral lineage, DMV printout, and a current medical report
from your doctor.
NAME______________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH______________
HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________
GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________________
HOME ADDRESS__________________________
CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____
Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent?
____________
If NO, please explain
__________________________________
Number of years they have been married
_________________
If less than your age, explain
_________________________
Do you own a van?
_____________
A pickup with a mattress in the back?
__________
Do you have an earring or nose ring?
_______________
Do you have a belly button ring or tattoo?
______________
(IF YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE
PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
___________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?
____________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
____________________________________________________
Church you attend
________________________________________
How often you attend
______________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
priest? _______________
mother? _____________
parole officer?_____________
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are
confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be:
____________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
____________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:_____________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________
E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is:
_____________________________________________
NOTE: If answer E begins with T or A, discontinue leaving premises
keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
What do you want to do IF you grow up?
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
___________
How do you know?________________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT
POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
___________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, moron)
Email: aaronsteinmetz@yahoo.com
