Real Classified Ads
The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in
newspapers:
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1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
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AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE . . .
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
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FREE PUPPIES. . .PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG
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2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
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TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES
WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO,
EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
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COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED. . .
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
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83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000
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STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
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FREE PUPPIES:
50% COCKER SPANIEL -
50% SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
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FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
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SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents
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GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
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FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
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FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS
WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
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FOR SALE:
LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
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NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED
CALL CHUBBIE
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BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
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SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT.
BEEN OUT AWHILE. . .
BETTER BE REWARD.
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HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
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GET A LITTLE JOHN:
THE TRAVELING URINAL
HOLDS 2 =3DBD BOTTLES OF BEER.
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HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
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GEORGIA PEACHES
- CALIFORNIA GROWN -
89 cents lb.
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NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
SLIGHTLY STAINED
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AMERICAN FLAG
60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100
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TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY
$9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER
PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE
HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9
PER HOUR.
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NOTICE:
TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK
THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR
SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN
THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN
MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS
IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.
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EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
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OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S
MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
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GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
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GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.
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BAR S SLICED BOLOGNA
REGULAR OR TASTY
SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2
Email: aaronsteinmetz@yahoo.com
