"You cannot judge a sinner by the sin they committed, because if you do define them by just that you will never know the person behind it and the reason they did it."
Final Moments
What have I done?
It was surreal,
I never thought it would happen
But we did it.
Why did I do this?
All these people cry because of me
For me
I don't understand
This was supposed to be my revenge
Then why am I not happy?
Rachel's dead.
I watched her dance from the sound booth
I helped when the tape broke
She'll never dance again
Except in memories
She was kind to me
And she's dead.
All these bodies...
Did I do this?
I wanted the pain to stop
For everyone to know what I felt
Alone
But this is different
My family...
What have I done to them?
Will they hate me now?
How will I ever look at them again?
I'm sorry Mom and Dad
This wasn't your fault
I love you
Please don't hate me
I wish I could tell you how sorry I am
I hope you know
I won't ever leave here will I?
This is the end for me
I didn't want to go out this way.
I was going to college.
I'm smart, I would have done ok
I don't recognize myself
I killed people...
I feel different, changed, regretful
Will anyone remember me with anything but contempt?
I wouldn't blame them for hating me.
No one understands
The pain
The lonlieness
The emptiness
I cry sometimes, it hurts so bad
I don't know how to make them understand
People tell me to look to God
But he let me hurt this much
How could He love me and let that happen?
I wonder if He loves me now?
After all this
There's bullet holes everywhere
And blood
I did this
Eric's laughing
It hasn't hit him yet
But it will
I'll miss my job
Funny I should think of that now of all times
I wonder who will win fantasy baseball
I was in the lead
Will the school be torn down?
I hope so, this place hurts
I'll miss my mom and dad
My brother too
I can't believe what I am putting them through
I wonder how many are dead
Did I kill any of my friends?
This was just a plan,
I never thought we'd do it
But here I am, surrounded by death
It's calling my name now
I can't face my family
Not after this
What would happen to me anyway?
I'd be locked away forever
I am only 17, forever is a long time for me
I'm not that strong
I wanted to graduate and leave this place forever
Ironic I should fall here instead
I can't do this anymore
What have I done?
Forgive me.
After I wrote this last line, I could almost hear one final gunshot, then silence. R.I.P. Dylan Bennet Klebold. You were loved.
copyright 1999, Wendy Bartlett. All rights reserved.
Dylan, I won't pretend to understand
Why you chose to kill that day
But still I want you to know
Your picture is in my heart and will never go away.
Children were dying
Parents were crying
Everything seemed at a loss
Now fifteen names at the foot of the cross.
I know you thought no one cared
And that everyone would stop and stare
But you never stood alone
God loved you.
He called you His own.
copyright 1999, Wendy Bartlett. All rights reserved.