***************************************************************************

May 12, 2001

Téa swallowed hard as she caught sight of the clean-cut young Hispanic valet as he stepped forward eagerly to park her brightly polished sports car. She felt lower than the pavement as she forced herself to ignore his hopeful smile and stride away disdainfully without appearing to even notice him. She told herself she'd make it up to him later when every gesture didn't matter so much, but it didn't make her feel any better.

She paused a moment outside the gleaming glass doors of the country club, taking the opportunity to check her appearance one last time before entering. She was wearing a meticulously tailored suit fresh out of the window of one of the most exclusive design houses on Madison Avenue. The darned thing had cost the equivalent of six months of the salary that her father had earned as a janitor when Téa was growing up. Sure, she could afford it easily now, but on some levels spending that much money on a piece of frippery still bothered her deeply. She could only cringe at the thought of what Abuelita might have to say on the subject.

It had been several weeks since the memorable Easter weekend that she and Todd had spent in Llanview with Viki, Starr, and other members of the family. Unfortunately, those days were the only respite from the constant stress in their lives caused by their high-profile jobs. Téa was the lead attorney in a highly publicized upcoming trial. She worked in a free law clinic for women escaping a violent environment. Her boss, Ike Dawson, had entrusted Téa with the defense of a woman who had systematically poisoned her abusive husband. The case had drawn all kinds of publicity and was being described as a test case for self-defense pleas by women who had murdered when they had no other way out of an untenable situation. Téa had been proud and pleased to be chosen for such an important trial, but the publicity had come with a high price. To avoid being blind-sided with Todd's violent past, she had disclosed everything to Ike in an emotional scene in his office.

Since then, Téa felt like she was doing nothing but treading water in the case. After the long Easter weekend, Ike had appointed a second chair for the case without even consulting her. Téa knew he was just hedging his bets until he could make up his mind whether to yank her off the case entirely, but the vote of no confidence had hurt deeply. The lawyer who now shared her case was a clean-scrubbed, Ivy League trained WASP man. Téa knew that Ike of all people was not racist or sexist, but she had been supplanted by white males often enough to be insulted at his choice. This was her big case, the one she had been waiting for to establish her reputation as one of the major players in the world of criminal defense. Having Big Brother watching over her shoulder was not what she had planned. What was even more infuriating was the waiting.

Ever since her revelation to Ike, he had been busy consulting with some of the finest minds in the business, checking precedents and research to see if there was any way Téa could continue on the case without her past and Todd's becoming a liability for their client. Téa had confronted him a few times, and he had promised her an answer by the following Monday morning. Although she made a great show of being stoic, deep inside she was heartbroken at the thought of losing her big chance to make good. If Ike removed her from the case, she didn't see any alternative to resigning from his firm and seeking employment with some other non-profit free law clinic. It was very disappointing to think of leaving with her tail between her legs. Plus, it was just a matter of time before the ugliness of Todd's crimes reared its head again and brought any progress she made in a new job to a screeching halt.

The trial was just a part of her anxiety as she looked at her reflection in the window and patted a stray strand of hair into place. Her biggest concern these days was Todd. He was not recovering well from the blow to his ego that had happened when a deal to buy a thriving regional newspaper had fallen through. The seller, Emily Delacroix, had pulled out of the sale when she found out that Todd was a convicted rapist, saying he was not the right kind to own her precious paper. Todd had been shattered, and in his usual fashion, had blamed Téa for the disaster. Even after he had been convinced that Téa was in no way responsible for making his past crimes public, he still looked at her with an accusatory stare from time to time.

After the brief respite of their Easter with the family, Todd had seemed to sink even lower. He didn't even go into his office on some days, and Téa would return home from work to find him in a darkened room with nothing but a bottle of scotch for companionship. He seemed defeated and depressed, and Téa found herself wishing for any sign of life in his dull existence--even one of his patented temper tantrums. She had managed to get him to see his therapist once or twice, but he didn't seem to get any relief from the sessions. Finally at the end of her rope, Téa had called in her secret weapon--Todd's daughter Starr. The little girl was arriving that afternoon with her nanny. They were meeting Todd at his office, even though it was Saturday. Starr had been wanting to see where her daddy worked, and Téa felt Todd would be better behaved in his workplace than at home. With any luck, he wouldn't trash his office before his daughter arrived.

Although she wasn't directly responsible for Todd losing the newspaper deal, Téa did feel guilty on some level for adding to his misery. Her job had dredged up all kinds of unhappy memories from his past, taking away the sense of security he had gained when the two of them had settled in New York City after leaving Llanview together. Although she knew Todd didn't like her interfering in his business, Téa wanted to help him regain his confidence in himself. Which brought her to her task today.

People like Emily Delacroix set her teeth on edge. She'd had too much experience with holier than thou types when she was growing to adulthood in the dingy basement of a Park Avenue apartment building. The hypocrites who ignored the poorly dressed little girl waiting for her daddy in the lobby, but donated millions of dollars for a new wing for the museum; the two-faced liars who clicked their tongues in disgust at those accused of petty theft or drug possession at the same time they were ripping the government off with their tax loopholes; the idol rich who professed contempt for those forced to go on welfare while living on their bloated trustfunds. Well, Emily Delacroix was about to find out what happened when the janitor's daughter grew up.

"Can I help you, Ma'am?" asked the uniformed man behind the reception desk as Téa marched confidently through the door. Téa did her best to imitate the look of bored annoyance she had seen so often on the faces of the rich when confronted by an inconvenient underling.

"Emily Delacroix's table, please," she snapped. She turned her attention away from the man and looked through the doorway to the dining room, searching for her quarry. She had never met the newspaper publisher, and she hoped she hadn't changed too much from the photo on the editorial page of her paper.

"Mrs. Delacroix didn't mention she was expecting a guest," said the man, running his finger down a printed list. Téa looked at him with an icy stare.

"Are you suggesting that I'm here under false pretenses?" she said, taking a step forward. The man was intimidated.

"No, of course not, Ma'am," he said. "I'm sure there has been some misunderstanding. I'll just check with Mrs. Delacroix and…"

"That won't be necessary," said Téa with authority as she marched into the dining room. The man sputtered a bit behind her as she began scanning the tables. For a moment, it seemed like every one held a woman in her seventies, but none of them looked at all familiar. Just when she was starting to get a sinking feeling in her stomach, she spotted a lady in a plum-colored suit emerging from the lady's room. "Bingo," said Téa under her breath. She quickly placed herself in front of her, blocking her way.

"Mrs. Delacroix, what good luck to find you here. I've been wanting to have a word with you." The old woman haughtily looked Téa up and down.

"I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met," she said in dismissal as she turned toward her table. Téa laughed heartily, reaching out to touch the other woman's forearm as though sharing a joke.

"You're such a kidder." Mrs. Delacroix pulled away.

"I assure you, young woman, I don't 'kid' about anything. Now if you'll excuse me, my friends are expecting me."

"We'll let's not keep them waiting," said Téa falling into step beside her. "I'm sure they'll be anxious to see the latest family photos." Téa quickly handed her a small snapshot. Mrs. Delacroix stopped dead in her tracks, staring wide-eyed at the photograph.

"What do you want?" she whispered harshly, looking up in anger.

"Just a moment of your time. Under the circumstances, I think it would be best if we went somewhere private, don't you?" Nodding coldly, Mrs. Delacroix led the way to the terrace over-looking the golf course.

"Who are you?" she snapped as soon as they were outside. Téa pulled out a card.

"Téa Delgado," she said proudly, fully aware that the club she was visiting was "exclusive". The lack of non-white faces had been all too apparent in the dining room. "That is…Téa Delgado soon to be Manning," she added, waiting for the reaction. Recognition dawned in Mrs. Delacroix's eyes.

"Oh, I see. This is about that vile, unmannered rapist who almost got hold of my newspaper a few weeks ago." She looked again at Téa's card. "So you're an attorney…then I'm sure you know, Ms. Delgado, that you are trespassing on private property. And as for this," she said, brandishing the photograph, "perhaps you'd like to consider the consequences for blackmail and extortion."

"Now Mrs. Delacroix," said Téa in a friendly manner. "So far I've done nothing but make you a gift of a photograph of your son, Ralph. And his daughter is lovely, too. They seem rather…close." Mrs. Delacroix's jaw tightened noticeably and her fist clenched. "Oh, I'm sorry," continued Téa. "Ralph doesn't have any children, does he? Then that girl in the photo must be his….my goodness, she is rather young, isn't she? Couldn't be more than sixteen. Tsk tsk."

"What do you want?"

"Merely to point out that the current owners of the Trenton Tribune are not above reproach, Mrs. Delacroix. You say my fiancé is not worthy to own your paper? Well, I would point out that what your son is engaged in with an underage girl is called rape…statutory rape."

"You dare to compare my son with that vile…"

"I would point out that Mr. Manning has worked very hard to overcome his criminal past, whereas your son is currently frolicking in the Caribbean with his latest school-girl fantasy. I wonder who your readers would find more despicable?"

"Are you threatening me?" asked Mrs. Delacroix in an icy tone.

"No. I'm suggesting you take another look at Mr. Manning's offer. It's more money than you'll ever hope to get anywhere else. And when you're considering his morals, and whether you deem him worthy to carry on your father's legacy, then take a good hard look at this." Téa snatched the photo from Mrs. Delacroix's hand and held it before her eyes. "Perhaps you should spend more time worrying about the morals of your own family instead of attacking Todd with his past mistakes. I'll expect to hear from you soon, Mrs. Delacroix." Téa dropped the photograph to the pavement and turned her back, heading for the exit. "After all, we wouldn't want that to show up in the wrong places, would we? Say, a slimy tabloid of which Mr. Manning owns several." Téa took a last glance at the old woman over her shoulder, watching as she wearily bent down to retrieve the photo. She quickly shoved it in her suit pocket and looked around to make sure she wasn't observed.

Téa bestowed a stunning smile and a $20 bill on the young valet as he retrieved her car. She didn't know if her bluff would work, but it had sure been therapeutic to take the old biddy down a notch or two. When her car arrived, she stripped off her jacket, took down her hair and sped off down the driveway enjoying the fresh air.

********************************************************************************************************************************************

Todd paced around his office, looking longingly at the bar. As much as he loved her, he wasn't looking forward to Starr's visit. He was too close to the edge again, and it made him worried about doing or saying something that would hurt the little girl. Usually, he liked working on Saturdays. It generally meant he could get a lot accomplished without a bunch of annoying interruptions from staff or business associates. But lately he had been filled with a feeling of hopelessness. It seemed no matter how hard he tried to put the past behind him, there was always someone anxious to bring it up and rub his nose in it.

After they had settled in New York and started building a life together, he had almost forgotten what it was like to have people cringe away at the sight of him, or whispering behind his back. He had become immune to it after a while, but he never got used to having his past hurt the people he cared about. The Trenton Tribune deal was supposed to be his big break…a profitable, respectable newspaper that would finally legitimize his growing media empire. Having the deal fall through because of his criminal past was a bitter pill indeed. And on top of that, Téa was on the verge of losing her big break as well. Her sanctimonious boss was sure to yank the case away from her now that he knew the truth about her once and future husband. The whole thing made Todd want to throw and break things.

But he didn't want to scare Starr, who was on her way from the airport right now. So for now he had to refrain from going bonkers. Darn that Delgado…he hated it when she manipulated him like this. When she couldn't penetrate the wall he built around himself, she called in the shrink. And when all else failed, send in the cute kid. The loud buzzing of his intercom interrupted his thoughts. His secretary Lou had come in on her day off because she wanted to see Starr. She had almost quit on him after that last disastrous meltdown a couple of weeks before. It had cost him the price of a makeover at a fancy salon and a new wardrobe to keep her. "What?" he barked into the speaker.

"Someone to see you, Sir."

"Yeah, my kid. They're early."

"No, it's a Mr. Dawson….Mr. Ike Dawson. He says you're acquainted."

Damn! Téa's interfering boss. What the heck was he doing here? "Tell him Delgado isn't here," he ordered into the intercom. He whipped around as his office door flew open.

"Then we won't be disturbed," said Ike in his deep baritone. Todd glared at him as he approached. Ike stared back coldly.

"It's OK, Lou," said Todd as the flustered secretary hovered in the doorway. After she quietly left the room, Todd continued, "Save your breath, Dawson. I've heard it all before. I'm scum….I wrecked Delgado's life….I should do everyone a favor and blow my brains out. That about cover it? Now you can get the hell out." Ike looked annoyed.

"Just answer me one thing," he said, ignoring the other man's outburst. "Do you love Téa?"

Todd's eyes widened in surprise. He threw his hands out helplessly to the side. "What kind of question is that? And what business is it of yours?"

"I'm just trying to see what it is that would make her throw away her whole career, her entire future."

Todd snorted in contempt. "Obviously I've been slipping mind-control drugs into her food. There is no other explanation." Todd stomped behind his desk and plopped down in the chair. "So, you're going to fire her, huh? Wouldn't want all your liberal do-gooder supporters to find out one of your lawyers is going to marry a convicted rapist." He picked up a paperweight and tossed it from hand to hand. He was fighting down the urge to send it smashing into the wall.

"I haven't made up my mind about the case yet, Manning. I wanted to talk to you, first. You see, the only way to keep your past from becoming a liability to Téa in court is to go public with it…now."

Todd paled noticeably. "How the hell is that going to help? They'll all think she's a nutcase for being with me."

"You know what, Manning? Everyone in my office is a survivor of spousal abuse, one way or another. They all have their reasons for choosing to help battered women. Téa isn't the only survivor, but she is the only one still with her attacker."

Todd's eyes narrowed, but he remained silent. Ike noticed his jaw working. "Our defense in this Nesbit case is going to center around self-defense. We're going to argue that Ellie Nesbit had no other way out of a life-threatening situation when she started poisoning her husband. Now if the prosecution gets wind of your sordid list of crimes they could make this trial about Téa…put her on the run defending herself instead of the client. But if she discloses it now we can use it to our advantage. I believe she attacked you with a shovel to protect herself?"

Todd shrank into the seat cushions and turned his head. He hated having to relive one of the low points of his relationship with Téa. "Well," went on Ike, "it makes her appear strong…establishes that a woman has a right to strike back when she feels threatened." Todd swallowed hard.

"So what are you doing here, Dawson? It sounds like you have it all figured out…crucify me and make Delgado and her poor little client sound like saints."

"Téa won't go for it…she is too protective of you, Manning. She'll resign before she shouts your crimes from the rooftops. So, if you love her the way you should, you'll persuade her it's the only way."

"You want me to make your case for you, even though I'll be dragged through the mud?" Ike nodded yes. "You're out of your mind, Dawson."

"Daddy!" shouted Starr, bursting through the door. "I missed you so much!" Without breaking stride, Starr ran across the room and jumped in her father's lap, oblivious to the tension. Suddenly, she became aware of another person. "Who's that?" she asked, gesturing at Ike.

"That's Mr. Dawson, Téa's boss," said Todd in a low voice.

"Hi," said Starr simply, waving at Ike. "Tee's my step-mom."

"Hello Miss Manning," said Ike, smiling broadly. He looked at Todd. "I didn't know…I have three kids of my own, all grown." He watched in fascination, as Todd's whole body relaxed, became noticeably softer.

"I'm glad you're here, Shorty," he said with a genuine smile. "We're going to do lots of fun things. But first, I have to finish talking to Mr. Dawson. Why don't you go out and get Lou to show you where she hides her stash of candy, OK?"

"Oh goody!" The little girl scampered off, watched affectionately by both men.

"She's beautiful," said Ike quietly when they were alone. "Look, I don't want to cut into your family time. But I need an answer Manning. Are you willing to take the heat about your past? Will you persuade Téa that full disclosure is the only way to do this?"

"What choice do I have, Dawson? You'll take the case away from her if I fight you."

"All right…look, when Téa first told me about you, I'll admit it…I was sickened. And reading about your crimes hasn't reassured me, Manning. But I will say this--I know you've worked hard to make sure Téa doesn't get hurt again…and I can see how much your family means to you. I don't pretend this is going to be easy on any of you, but the truth really is the only way to go."

"Fine. Now get out." Ike headed to the door.

"You're doing the right thing," he said, turning around. "Téa is really going places. This case will put her name on the map."

"I said get out!" Todd dropped onto the couch after Ike left, his head in his hands. Suddenly, his hand shot out, grabbing the paperweight again. He drew back his arm to throw it.

"Daddy! Are you gonna break stuff again?" asked Starr coming in behind him. Todd quickly dropped his arm.

"Nah. It's getting too expensive." He swung the little girl up in his arms. "C'mon, let's go look at the presses. And when we get back, I'll show you where the comic books are."

"Yay! I love you, Daddy."

Todd shivered. After his past ended up all over the evening news, would Starr find out about him? Would she ever say those words again?

© Mary Catherine Wilson 2000