Thanks to my beta, Carol...You're an angel! And special thanks to Mary for her hard work on the TnT pages. Your dedication inspires me.

I thought that by going to New York City, I could escape. But you know the old saying of trying to run away from your problems, they always find you. Seems to be my run of luck, trying to leave but never really going anywhere.

It'd be different if what I was trying to run away from wasn't a part of me. Makes it harder to run when you take it everywhere with you. Has taken me many years to figure that out. Not that I'm stupid, mind you, hardly. No, just stubborn. Stubborn to admit that the thing I tried to run away from, the thing that I so desperately didn't want to take a hold of me already had a hold. Love. And now it was up to me to realize that instead of run from it, hide from it but to stare it in the face, head on. And I did that. Standing in a swanky gallery in Manhattan, I came face to face, almost, with what I was running from.

All this time, I had thought that I wouldn't remember what she looked like. I had tried to fool myself into thinking that I had gotten her out of my head the day she walked out of my life those many years ago after I had walked back into hers at the cabin. I was, of course as always, fooling myself. I remembered everything about her, the way she smiled, the way her forehead creased when she was angry or thoughtful. I remembered the way her eyes looked at me, really looked at me when she let her emotions come flooding through. But mostly, I remembered the way she smelled. The perfume she wore. No other woman on earth wore it, I had seen to that. It was a special scent I had made for her, long ago, during one of our many marriages. When I had it made and smelled, it was her, everything about her right there in that bottle. I was assured that no one else would wear it. For that kind of money, they kept the formula locked away; bringing it out only when the original purchaser wanted more made. I thought I had almost forgotten about it, until I smelled it again. As it did back then it made my stomach knot my mind's eye envisioning the woman that wore it. A few seconds after smelling it, I saw her, standing across the room from me. A few feet and 8 million people and here she was again, my enigma. The one thing that I, with all my money, really couldn't have after all. If ever I foolishly thought that I wouldn't recognize her, this was the moment that made a liar out of me. I picked her right out of the crowd, wasn't hard to do. She looked the same, still a looker. Her hair was shorter; I didn't particularly care for that. I loved her long hair, the way it fell on her shoulders We have similar hair , the way the silky strands would flow over my fingers but it still looked good. She looked good. She was smiling, standing near one of the pieces with some dude, holding a drink in her hand. She had on a short evening dress on, looked like black velvet from here, the back out, scooped to the small of her back. She laughed, running her hand through her hair, a slim, gold band gracing her finger, catching the light. Wasn't one of mine, I remember thinking, a hint of jealousy churning in my stomach. That really shouldn't surprise me, really. You always want what you don't have. I had her, many many times, ready, willing and able to be in my life, until the day she couldn't take me anymore. And you know, as stupid as it sounded, I really thought that one day, she would come back to me. One day, we'd meet like this and Bam, back on track. But as I watched her and funny dude make their way around the room watching as every once in a while he would lean over, say something in her ear causing her to laugh, watching her with this gold band on her finger His? and I found I was jealous.

All this time, fooling myself, convincing myself that one day, we'd be together again, it never occurred to me that she'd be with anyone else. Not that I am such a great catch, hardly. That was one of the things that I couldn't get into my head that she wanted me . But she did and now she didn't. She had moved on.

She spotted me just as I had resolved to be happy for her. Her eyes scanned the room and caught mine, watching her. Was she surprised? Scared? Pissed? To be honest, I really couldn't tell. She just looked at me watching me watch her and looked really, really serene. Funny dude said something to her, to which she answered, touched his hand and then started, alone, making her way over to me. If I could have been swallowed up by the floor at that possible moment, I would have wished for it. I didn't want to see her, not up close, standing before me. I didn't think she was going to cause a scene, no. I knew she'd be polite, smile and act like she cared that I wasn't dead in a gutter somewhere. No, I didn't want her close to me because I would have been able to tell myself it wasn't her. I could tell myself that I had only imagined that it was her across the room or maybe that it was just someone who looked a lot like her. It wouldn't be real for me so I could go on that way.

But she stood before me, smiling, looking up at me, her eyes sincere. "Todd," was all she said and that was enough. Enough to make me realize what an ass I had been to let this woman go without a fight.

"Tea." It was the only word I could get out. After that, the throat swelled up, the mouth went dry, no more words.

"I thought that was you. How are you? You look good."

She always was a good liar she was after all a lawyer. Is she still?. She amazed me, always telling me how handsome I was, how beautiful my eyes were. Part of me wanted to believe her, the part that wanted to be with her. But then, there was that other side....

"Can't complain, I guess." I answered, shrugging, finally finding my voice again. I took a long gulp of my beer, trying to keep the dry-mouths away. No need in looking like a complete ass in front of her more so than I already was. "Fancy meeting you here. You look good."

She smiled and my stomach flipped. Convince myself it's the beginnings of food poisoning from the sucky food and don't dwell on it. No need getting starry-eyed over her when she's someone else's. But you know, didn't work. Because even though I tried to convince my one brain of not getting worked up over her, the other brain didn't take heed. Yeah, yeah, embarrassing isn't it? The one time I wanted my body to continue listening to me and not react, it decides that it will do as it damn well pleases. Go figure.

"Thank you," she smiled again, her eyes catching the light in the room. "Marlena is a client of mine and she invited me to the opening. It's a great place, huh?"

I shrugged, trying to imagine Dorian in a two-piece swimsuit to get my body in check.

"It's OK, I guess. I'm only here for the food."

To make a point, I grab something off a passing platter that one of those penguin-suited guys were pushing all night and popped it into my mouth. I resisted the urge to gag, closing my eyes, willing myself not to spit it out.

When I open my eyes again, Tea is smiling at me, handing me her cocktail napkin.

"Its OK," she says with laughter in her voice. "No ones looking."

I shake my head and swallow it, swigging my beer to kill the taste of whatever it was that was killing my taste buds.

"The food here is awful," she commented. "Roger and I were going to get something to eat."

'Roger', I repeated, in my head. 'Roger'. Somehow, I couldn't see her with a 'Roger'. I could see her with, with, well Todd, I admitted. Todd and Tea, T and T, it fit. Roger, Tea, nope, couldn't picture it.

"Roger your husband?"

I heard myself ask despite telling myself I wouldn't ask. First my groin, now my mouth. When did my body parts start having a mind of their own? I don't know if you could hear the jealousy in my voice, I hoped not. I didn't want her to suddenly turn vengeful and invite ol' Rog over and start tonguing him to get back at me. But as I waited for the answer, it didn't come cause ol' Rog came over on his own.

Feeling him behind her, Tea turned and smiled at him and I swear, I could have punched him in the face and not cared. Yeah, I was jealous and was hoping against hope that he was an asshole. That he was arrogant, he was conceited and a jerk-off so I could be justified in hating his guts and the tall, dark-hair, ice blue eyed gene pool he came from. But I could tell from his face he was a nice man, a gentle man.

"Tea."

"Roger. Roger, I want you to meet Todd Manning, Todd, this is Roger."

Rog extended his hand to which I took, feeling the ring on his left-hand third finger rubbed against my skin, mocking me as we shook.

"Nice to meet you Todd. Listen, Tea, I'm going out to get the car, okay? Mark and his Mom are meeting us at the restaurant and we don't want to be late."

"Sure, Roger, I'll be out in a second."

"Todd, nice to meet you."

I nodded in his direction, not wanting to speak. He left Tea and myself alone again. "Well, I'd better go." She started, looking up at me, her eyes sad. At least, I wanted to think they were sad. I don't know. Meeting Roger sort of messed things up for me. "It really was nice seeing you again Todd." I hated the way she said that. She said it like she was over me and she truly meant it. "It was good seeing you again, Delgado." I saw that my name for her startled her a little. I didn't do it on purpose or anything, I swear I didn't. It was out of my mouth before I could even stop it. It was so natural for me to call her that. But if she were angry, she didn't show it. She just continued to smile at me with her sad eyes and then she left. I watched her leave, again, a long time hoping she'd come back into that door, making her way back over to me. But she didn't. She was gone. I'd never see her again

To be continued. . .

© Copyright by Whlwtcher 2000