I was already inside when it finally clicked.

A purple T-Rex with a green belly.

Oh, no. It's the previously unknown bastard cousin of Barney.

It's Megatron.

I stood outside the TV Room, trying to conceal my laughter. "Uh, Tim?" I pressed a hand to my side. It felt like it was splitting. "How far through the tapes did you get?" My voice sounded high and funny from the pent-up laughter.

"They have just finished watching the tape labeled 'Barney', Lady Dementia," Tim replied.

I made a funny sputtering noise. They just finished watching the 'Barney' tape. This was too much... "Let 'em," I gasped, "let 'em go, Tim," I giggled quietly.

Megatron was oblivious to me, "Oh, Dinobot's face will be a sight, yesss."

Yeah, I'll bet it will. I stepped between Megatron and the door, just in case they went bonkers at the sight of him. Or in case they had gone completely insane from the videos.

The door opened.

Well, they had gone completely insane. Just not in the violent way I had been thinking of.

"I love you, you love me..." Dinobot led the other two in their singing. Linked arm in arm, they came out of the room in a happy daze, grinning like the brainwashed idiots they were.

Rattrap saw me. He smiled, "Don't you love me, Lady Dementia?"

"Uh," not particularly, "Sure, Rattrap." Humor the crazy person...

"Than why aren't you singing along? It's fun!" Terrorsaur jumped up and down, clapping his hands.

Dinobot was taller than me, so he could see over my head. That was how he saw the gaping purple and green T-Rex. "Barney!" he shrieked.

"Huh?" The others looked around me. "BARNEY!!"

"What?! Nooo!" Megatron was tackled by the crazed trio.

"Barney! Barney! Barney!" "Will you sing with us, Barney?" "C'mon! I love you, you love me..."

Megatron was pinned down under the singers. He desperately tried to call to me, "Lady Dementia! Help me! Tell them I'm not this 'Barney'!"

Hmmm, I could separate them, or go change into beachwear while they were busy. Big decision. "Have fun!" I wiggled my fingers in a cute goodbye wave.

The three waved back. Megatron howled.

I went to my room. I was gonna go swimming! Yay!

I came back wearing really short jean cut-offs, and a halter top. On this world, modesty had no bounds. Who was gonna see me? A bunch of robots? A couple wild animals? Who cared?

Dinobot, Terrorsaur, and Rattrap had settled down a bit, and were hugging 'Barney' as hard as they could. Megatron looked half strangled by Dinobot's hold on his neck, but Terrorsaur's grip on his head was preventing him from opening his jaws. Rattrap was just hanging onto his tail.

The trio was softly chanting, "Barney, Barney, Barney..." almost worshipfully. It was scary.

Megatron's words were rather muffled due to Terrorsaur, but I interpreted them as, "Get them offa me!"

"Do you know the magic word?" I teased.

"Please!" the three Barney-loving robots shouted. Then they went back to chanting.

"Vfease," Megatron managed to get out.

I put my beach towel on the counter, "Prepare yourself, this is gonna be ugly." Okay, time to deal with the insane (Good thing I have 4 older brothers. I'm experienced!).

I giggled. I gushed. I acted like a typical preschool teacher.

"Okay, kids!" I squealed, "It's time to go!" I clapped my hands and giggled, "That's right! We're gonna GO somewhere!"

Dinobot, Terrorsaur, and Rattrap stopped chanting, and stared at me with huge, wondering eyes. Rattrap let go of Megatron's tail and came closer to me, "Where are we goin'?"

"We're gonna go to the...but we don't want to tire Barney out, do we?" I shook my head at them, and they timidly copied the motion, "No we don't, that's right. So why don't we let go of the niiiiice dinosaur," Megatron stared at me in horror, "so we can go?" I put on a big, sickly sweet smile. I was making myself sick.

"But," Dinobot started, "it's Barney!" He hugged Megatron tighter.

"Oh, I'm SURE Barney will come see you later! Won't you, Barney?" I kept my eyes on him. Agree, Megatron. Hopefully, they'll be recovered so you won't have to, but I need you to agree for right now.

He hesitated.

I gritted my teeth, "WON'T YOU, Barney." If he didn't agree, I swear I'd...

Megatron nodded, and then gasped for air as Dinobot and Rattrap let go of him.

I forced another giggle as he made his escape, "We're going to have SUCH fun!"

Terrorsaur sadly watched 'Barney' go, "What are we gonna do?"

Give you time to recover from your Barney-induced madness. "We're going to the beach! Isn't that neat? You can play with ALL the other transformers, and swim, and, and..."

"Is Barney going to be there?" Dinobot asked.

"...of COURSE Barney will be there!" Poor Megatron...

"Yay!" they yelled. The trio started to sing, "We're going to the beach! We're going to the beach! Tralala la la laaaaaa!" They grabbed each other's hands (and mine), and spun around in a circle.

I kept my cutesy smile pasted on. There were only three of them. There were only three of them. This was nothing compared to four older brothers. I can handle three Barney-crazy brats...

If I kept repeating it, maybe I'd believe it...

I was enjoying myself. I can't say the same for the rest of the guys.

I had solved the problem of controlling Dinobot, Terrorsaur, and Rattrap by foisting them off on the Maximals and Predacons. Megatron had fled the area around the house, but I had conveniently pointed the trio towards his fleeing form. They went after him.

But they gave each and every one of the transformers a hug before they left. Rampage puked again. Depth Charge almost joined him.

When we had arrived on the beach, we found that the three had cornered Megatron in a cave, and were having a sing-a-long right outside it. Optimus took pity on Megatron (when his screaming hit a certain pitch), and took the deranged threesome under Maximal care.

That lasted about three minutes.

Then Inferno distracted them while Megatron quickly rinsed off the paint and hid again.

Dinobot, Terrorsaur, and Rattrap had given up on tracking him down, and instead decided Rampage and Depth Charge were really cool. The mortal enemies had made a temporary truce in order to go into the deep water to escape.

(Well, okay, I admit I started that one. It's just that Rampage's antenna look so much like reins. I couldn't resist jumping on, grabbing them, and shouting 'Giddyup, horsy!' The problem came when the those three brainwashed robots tried to copy the idea...Depth Charge got involved somehow...)

The currently-cooperating factions made the three a campfire (Inferno: BURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!!), and were assigning guards while they took turns washing off. Cheetor and Waspinator seemed to do the best, for some strange reason.

I just swam throughout the whole thing. And snorted water when I laughed involuntarily underwater.

"What a pretty sunset," I sighed, staring dreamily at the beautiful view across the water. Behind me, I could hear talking.

"But we don't wanna go back!"

"Yeah, it's fun!"

"You can't make us!"

"Come on, guys! Just go back to Lady Dementia's house, okay?"

"No!"

"Great. How are we going to take them back?"

"We could just shoot them..."

"It would be dishonorable to shoot a child, er, child-like 'bot'."

"I'm dishonorable! I'll shoot them! Let me! Oo! Oo! Me! HehEehee..."

"Well, there goes Megatron."

A pause.

"BARNEY!!!!"

Here we go again...

Lady Dementia, The Demented Angel, would love feedback! Write her at dementedangel@hotmail.com "Humor the crazy person..."