The TRUE Laws of Physics
By: Draconias Galactica (dralactica@excite.com)

The False Story of Hyperspace

One of the annoying things about traveling in hyperspace is the ever annoying laws of physics. That is, if they really were laws as humans thought they were. In reality the laws were more rules than laws. If they were laws, physical police would pull you over to the side of the galaxy if you broke them. There is no such thing as a physical police officer-if you see one, you're obviously imagining that it exists. Thusly, if you get arrested, the only reason you deserve it is because you let yourself be dragged into jail by your own imagination.

Luckily, rules can be broken, bent, twisted inside out and outside in, & taken out for an intergalactic lunch break. But the main problem is-how? This is the difficult part which billions upon billions standing up on billions of species have tried to solve. A problem is that as soon as you break them, the other rules of the universe get jealous.

A law...er, rule...that gets jealous of another will try to break itself. If it succeeds, that rule accidentally commits suicide and can never be used again. Sometimes that rule might be needed in The-Court-of-Really-Anoying-Rules-That-Want-to-become-Really-Anoying-Laws to approve of the admission of a rule to become a law. Without that rule's testimony, another rule might never become a law.

These laws-once they're appointed-strive to push out the rules. They occasionally get board, mate, have little rules that make no sense and are annoying in that manor, and try to move to a universe with rules about a good school district.

In conclusion, don't travel through hyperspace unless absolutely necessary. If you have to, don't mess with physics. If you do, the universe could get even crapier than it already is.