Movie Summary
One for the "isn't that precious?" file. A guy named Jodie stumbles upon a nutty family whose grandma Lucinda kills people with pitchforks and meathooks. Well, at least you think that she's the grandma, but she's really the old sister of an immortal, never-aging witch named Melissa who saved Lucinda from being burned at the stake by selling her soul to the devil. Melissa and Jodie fall in love, but he questions her, not even believing that she's a witch when she sets Lucinda on fire. So Jodie leaves, then he comes back, believes Melissa suddenly, they do things, Melissa becomes hideously old, and Jodie sells his soul to the devil to make her pretty again. A true testament to the shallowness of everyone in the 70's. Lots of pauses!
Host Segments
Prologue: Crow and Servo are going wassailing. When Mike refuses to give them any wassail, the demand that he give them his debit card and PIN number.
Segment One: Just as the 'Bots are ordering things, Mike finds a loophole in their wassailing song. Pearl has left Brain Guy and Bobo with a baby-sitter named Steffi, who calls Brain Guy "Brian" and insists he play with blocks and thinks that Bobo is a pet of some kind. She then calls Crow "Cow" and gives Brain Guy his fruit snack.
Segment Two: Mike has started a walnut farm and is all sweaty. Meanwhile, Servo is having a blast with his pecan farm.
Segment Three: Mike is piling rocks on Crow to see if he's a witch. He's surviving quite well, but then he decides he's a frog.
Segment Four: Servo's grandma tries to kill Mike with a pitchfork.
Segment Five: Crow thinks he's sold his soul to Satan, but he accidentally sold it to Stan, who has sold it off with a block of other souls. In the castle, Steffi is reading Green Eggs and Ham to Brain Guy, who doesn't get it and goes to bed. Bobo is in a Pet Taxi, and Steffi hits him with a newspaper.
Stinger: Melissa says, "This is where the fish lives."
My Thoughts
Ah, yes, this movie. This movie had good intentions, I think. It could have been good if they'd put a little more thought into it. However, it was made in the 70s, and thus its downfall. Hardly anything made in the 70s was any good. And when you name your main character Jodie, yet he's a guy, you know you're going to have problems. All in all, though, this was definitely one of the more managable films shown on MST, and I think I could stand to get through it unMSTed, given the opprotunity.
For all good MSTies out there, you will know that this is where I got my handle. Emby Mellay is the name of the actress who played Melissa in this movie. The name was immortalized in the riff "Emby Mellay? That's not a name, it's a bad Scrabble hand!" as said by Servo during the opening credits. I chose the handle after a July 4th viewing of the ep and a bit of a scuffle on the main board which caused me to go into a bit of hiding. Turned out to be the most intelligent thing I could have done.
