MSTing - Sonnet #18

CROW: Compare me to a golden spider duck.

>>Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

MIKE: Well, unless you're PMSing or something.

>>Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

SERVO: Wait, have we shifted seasons? I thought we were talking about summer!
CROW: Okay, let's make up our minds here. Summer or spring? All in favor of summer, say "aye".
ALL: *silence*
CROW: All in favor of spring, say "aye".
ALL: *silence*
SERVO: All in favor of throwing the poetry book out the window, say "aye".
ALL: AYE!!!

>>And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

SERVO: I suppose if he had opened the car door for her the date might have gone a little better.

>>Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

MIKE: Yeah, God can have a pretty stealthy glare if He puts His mind to it.

>>And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;

SERVO: Then get some wax and buff his complexion.

>>And every fair from fair sometime declines,

MIKE: Visit the World's Fair! Guaranteed to be filled with pointing teenagers or your money back!

>>By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

SERVO: They just need a bigger pair of scissors.

>>But the eternal summer shall not fade,

MIKE: Oh, he lives in California.

>>Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

CROW: Um...SOUP!!
MIKE AND SERVO: What?
CROW: I couldn't help it...the pressure! I can't riff Shakespeare...I'm going to my room!
MIKE: Now, Crow, you get back here and finish this poem with us!
CROW: Oh, all right.

>>Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,

SERVO: Death has a little picket fence around his shade.

>>When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;

CROW: No, you guys, that's it, I'm leaving!
SERVO: Crow, you are such a party pooper! Everytime you can't riff something you just leave!
CROW: That's right! I'm going now, bye!
(Crow runs out before Mike can stop him)
SERVO: Well, it's his loss.

>>So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

MIKE: So long as tabloids line the supermarket aisles, or Elton John is broke and gay...
SERVO: So long as Trekkies live with their parents and Joe Don Baker has butter...

>>So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

MIKE: Amen. Please close your hymnals and be seated.
SERVO: Hey, that was fun! Crow really missed out!
MIKE: I wonder what he did in his room anyway?
CROW: *comes running out of his room* Hey, you guys! I found an even better poem for us to riff!
MIKE: What?
CROW: Well, I don't know what it's called, but it's about this guy from Nantucket...

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