(The scene: Beavis and Butt-head sitting in the 20th century version of their ultimate living room pit. Butt-head begins to speak)
BUTT-HEAD: Uh, I like, can't sleep and stuff. I'm like looking at Megadon and the city and sky and stuff... and it sucks. The Twin Moons, just two pale orbs--
BEAVIS: Heh heh, you said "orbs".
BUTT-HEAD: Oh yeah, huh huh, huh huh.
(5 minutes of moronic laughing)
BUTT-HEAD: That was pretty cool. So like, life was cool. I used to watch Megadonian Watch on the Templevision and watch the chicks shake their thingies.
BEAVIS: Yeah! Yeah! Heh heh, m. And um, my friend Butt-head said it didn't suck as much here as it did on other planets. (Begins to get...dare I say, more serious) I believed what I was told. I thought it was a good life. Then...
BUTT-HEAD: (Interrupting and pointing at Beavis) Uh, he's not my friend. He's just some dillhole who follows me around when I'm not kicking his ass. Huh huh.
BEAVIS: Shut up Butt-head! I'll kick YOUR ass!
(Beavis and Butt-head start fighting as the Overture kicks in. As the music draws to a close, we see Stewart standing on top of a hill in an Alanis Morrisette T-shirt)
STEWART: And the meek shall inherit the earth...
BEAVIS: So like, there's these temples everywhere. And they suck! These priests keep telling us what do, like to go to work and read books and stuff. Butt knockers.
(We now see a 20th century classroom, where Mr. Buzzcut, the ex-Marine gym teacher from hell recites his own version of "Temples of Syrinx")
MR. BUZZCUT: LISTEN UP, YOU PANTYWAISTS! We've taken care of everything! Everything you hear and sing and see is decided by us. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU PATHETIC SPECIMEN OF MANHOOD? We are the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx. We control the gifts of life to be given or wasted on you peons!
BUTT-HEAD: Uh, we were like, by the waterfall. 'Cuz sometimes the priestesses of Syrinx go to swim there and, huh huh, you can see their... uh, huh huh, huh huh, huh huh huh.
BEAVIS: Yeah! BOING-OING-OING-OING!!! Heh heh, m, heh.
BUTT-HEAD: Huh huh. Morning wood.
BEAVIS: Um, there were no chicks there, which sucked. But then we saw this thing. We like, didn't know what it was, but it was cool...
(Flasback to Beavis and Butt-head standing behind the waterfall holding the guitar as the music plays)
BUTT-HEAD: What can this strange device be? When I touch it--
BEAVIS: Heh heh, you said "touch it".
BUTT-HEAD: Dammit Beavis, if you interrupt me one more time, I'm gonna kick your ass! (Continues...) It's got wires that vibrate, and--
BEAVIS: Heh heh, you said "vibra--" AAAAH! (Screams as Butthead backhands him across the face)
BUTT-HEAD: I said shut up, butt knocker!
BEAVIS: Well quit talking like a wuss, and stop calling me butt knocker!
BUTT-HEAD: Huh huh. Butt knocker.
BEAVIS: Ahh! Shut up Butt-head, I'll kick your ass!
(Scene of Beavis and Butt-head fighting fades into them fooling around with the guitar)
BUTT-HEAD: Hey Beavis, lets take this thing to the temple. Everyone will think we're cool.
BEAVIS: Yeah, and I bet we'll get lots of chicks. Heh heh.
BUTT-HEAD: Yeah, huh huh. We're gonna score.
BEAVIS: Um, sir? I know it's weird to see us here. But we found something cool. So like listen to this, it rocks!
MR. BUZZCUT: Dammit, Beavis, we already know what that is! It's bad enough we've got losers like you in the world. We don't need this too!
BUTT-HEAD: Listen asswipe, this stuff is cool. And if we play it the world won't suck so much. Huh huh.
MR. BUZZCUT: THAT DOES IT! If you maggots don't get the hell outta this temple right now, I'm gonna take that strange device of yours and wrap it around your thick empty skulls! Now get out!!!
(Final scene of Mr. Buzzcut chasing Beavis and Butt-head out of the Temple)
(Scene opens with Beavis and Butt-head licking toads, trying to get a buzz. Eventually they pass out, and Mr. Van Driessen, the sensitive new-age English teacher appears as the oracle)
BUTT-HEAD: Who's this wuss?
VAN DRIESSEN: Beavis and Butt-head, I'm here to show you a strange and wondrous land, where the hands of men shall arise with hungry mind and open eyes...
BUTT-HEAD: Huh huh, you said "arise".
BEAVIS: M, heh heh. Are we gonna see chicks with big thingies?
VAN DRIESSEN: No, Beavis. I'm here to take you to a land light years away, where the people still learn and grow...
(The oracle takes Beavis and Butt-head to a planet known as "White Zombie Sector F", a planet full of loud music made with the same strange device that they found, free concerts, and legalized pot. After getting their fill, the oracle brings them back)
VAN DRIESSEN: Now Beavis and Butt-head, these people are coming home some day. And some day, this planet will be like theirs.
BUTT-HEAD: Whoa! Huh huh. That would be cool!
(Beavis and Butt-head are back in their living room)
BUTT-HEAD: We've been waiting for days, but those cool aliens haven't shown up yet.
BEAVIS: Y'know, I used to think this planet sucked, but after seeing that place that rocked, my life really sucks!
(The music starts)
BUTT-HEAD: Uh, I'm still coming down from my trip. Feeling dizzy and stuff, I take a no-doz and sit up, but it's too early to get out of bed. I wish our world was cool like that trip. And, uh, like I wish it didn't suck.
BEAVIS:(Suddenly freaking out) JUST THINK OF WHAT MY LIFE MIGHT BE, IN A WORLD LIKE I HAVE SEEN!
BUTT-HEAD:(Impressed) Whoa!
BEAVIS: I DON'T THINK I CAN CARRY ON, CARRY ON THIS COLD AND EMPTY LIFE, OH NOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAHH!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUTT-HEAD: Settle down, Beavis!
BEAVIS: Oh yeah, heh. Sorry 'bout that.
BUTT-HEAD: So like, we're depressed and stuff...
(Before they can do us a favor and end their worthless lives, we hear...)
(A loud noise is heard outside. Beavis and Butt-head run out to see a fleet of ships filling the sky, playing cool music)
BEAVIS: Check it out Butt-head, they're here!
BUTT-HEAD: Yeah! (Waving his arms) Hey! Hey! We're over here!
(One spaceship hovers over Beavis and Butthead. For a second, there is a strange hum, then a red laser strikes Beavis and Butt-head, reducing the pair to a pile of grey dust as a booming voice announces:)
THE END
