Work getting up in the morning messing my shoulders up doing brainless work monotony loneliness speaking when spoken to nobody really gives a shit what anyone else has to say unless they have an attention span longer than a mealworm at the least listening to the Misfits on my walkman it has fucked up earphones the right one is almost blown out while the left ear is almost bleeding from the loudness of the left earphone need new ones hopefully I’ll get some after I get paid tomorrow need a damn haircut too I should probably stop writing bad checks I might go to jail and get fucked in the ass by some big nigger like my dad said would happen maybe that’s true but it’s still a messed up attitude to just associate imprisonment with “big niggers” oh well fuck him typing with these gloves on is weird maybe I should take them off no better to break them in Rollins once did a writing like this but it’s cool it’s good for the soul everyone has brain farts every now and again anyway I’m not trying to be Rollins or anything I just write what I think and feel Hank is my guardo camino though he’s the man much more awesome than he gives himself credit for haven’t had sex in almost a month starting to forget what it feels like again maybe if I jack off to that porn tape I bought in Blackhawk enough times in one day I’ll rub myself raw wouldn’t that be cool yeah right what the hell am I thinking anyway that’s just it I’m not thinking I’m talking to myself talking out of my ass again like usual
--10.19.2000
