11:13 p.m.
The red digits of the clock no longer seem so evil
Nor does a night’s sleep seem as elusive
As it once did
I sure have changed in the past few years
It boggles the mind
To think that though it seems like I’ve been through so much
I’ve only been out of the womb for twenty years
And that everything leading up to this moment
Has only been the tip of the iceberg
Granted someone doesn’t unexpectedly drop a piano on me or something
It’s just now occurring to me
Change isn’t just about major turning points
It’s always there, waiting in the wings
Some people just don’t see
Or, if you’re like me
You don’t really want to see it
It’s inevitable, though
Everything goes through changes
Even a sentimental person like me, like it or not
Goes through change
But never one like this
Never one so drastic
Not that I’m complaining
I’m actually enjoying it
Not thinking about it too much
Though perhaps I should wonder a bit
For it is strange
I’ve been expressing my thoughts and feelings through the written word
Much more easily than before
The roadblock is no longer there
I’m even remembering my dreams now
The memory of the previous day always washes over my mind like a tidal wave
Erasing any at all dreams
Washing them out to the sea of Oblivion upon waking
What’s happening to me?
Everything happens for a reason, right?
Well
Even though I’m liking this
I still want to understand it
Deep down inside
Something is telling me
That there’s a profound meaning to all of this
And now I'm hooked
I’ve gotta know what it is
Or maybe
Maybe I should just cool out
And let the answers come in time
But still….
--Sep.-Oct. 2000
