Part 48...New Day, New Sun, New Comfort

Though he was tired, Zac awoke around 5:30 in the morning. He got dressed, then gathered his drawing pencils, drawing pad and journal, putting each of his belongings inside the navy blue backpack. Zac shivered as his bare feet touched the wooden steps on his way down the staircase and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. The kitchen floor was even worse for it was tile, but he didn't stay in there long, only long enough to grab some fruit and a bottle of water for breakfast and leave a note to his slumbering aunt and brother.

Good morning Aunt Sarah! Hello Taylor!
I went to Sunset Park, the up the street on the hill. That should be a nice walk for kicks. I figured, 'What the hell? I'm young! I should be able to handle this. Gotta get in shape!' J/K. So anyways, I'll be eating my breakfast there, and I'll be back later, guys. See ya!
Zac

For a while during the walk, Zac listened to the sound of his sandals flopping against the pavement. Grinning to himself, he stopped, halfway up the mildly steep hill, taking the time to look at his watch that told the date and of course time. It was a Thursday, sometime around six in the morning. Wow. Tay and I've been here for about two weeks now… and in these pass two weeks, I've made like, one real friend… His thoughts dissolved for now as he shook his head and went on walking. Zac chuckled to himself, Damn hill. It's too steep. Or maybe it's just me…

Upon reaching the top of the hill where the park was, Zac looked out into the spectacular view. He inhaled deeply and sat down under the willow tree. The old tree was somewhat near the edge of the hill, about fifteen meters away. From there, Zac could see all over. His journal sat in his lap, his pencil in his hand. Once again Zac inhaled deeply, this time closing his eyes. Soon, all of his thoughts were awoken.

Dear Journal,
Aloha from Hawaii! Ha! Yeah right! I'm not in Hawaii, but pretty darn close to. I'm in California, the same place I was last. Anyways, this makes it Tay's and my second week here with Aunt Sarah. It's pretty cool. She lets us use one of her cars all the time, the BMW. She comes with us everywhere. Aunt Sarah sits in the passenger site and Tay drives. Can you actually believe it? She actually lets Taylor drive such a nice car. Man, if that car were mine, I wouldn't let him drive it.

Then again, that's just me.

Back to the original idea, Aunt Sarah lets Taylor and I go anywhere from the beach, to the mall, to Six Flags Magic Mountain, to the movies to where ever. It's cool, you know? Hmmm. What else?

Oh yeah, I forgot. I've made a bunch of friends in this neighborhood in the Hollywood Hills, including Erika. Erika Jackson that is. She's my age, thirteen and has blue eyes and brownish reddish hair. It's cool, though, 'cause she's really nice and… I guess pure is the word to use when it comes to her. She's quite a natural person. Out of everyone, I definitely hang out with her the most. I don't know why, I guess it's just because of the way she is, you know? It's kind of like how there are certain people out there, very, very rare people out there that give out this vibe that makes you- excuse me, makes me want to talk to her and be around her. Okay, on to my next thought. But I'll tell you more about Erika later.

Mom and Dad and everyone else back home has been calling us almost everyday. But now that we've been here for a little while longer, it's like every other day before a call from them. The e-mails are still frequent though. Ten a day I tell ya! But I love it. I feel bad though, not being able to be home to play with Mackie, tease Jessi… heh, heh, mess with one of Avie's Barbies. I swear it's been like a year since I last did that. Plus I wonder how Zoë is. She's probably not old enough to understand anyways.

It's funny talking to Mom. Every single time before she hangs up the phone she reminds us that it'll only be a certain amount of time before we see them again. Now it's only like, two and a half months left. Neato… Hey! I've been talking to Isaac every once in a while now too. It's pretty cool. Sometimes I feel even worse about leaving Tulsa and Mackie. Apparently he's always asking about me (and Tay too). But like yeah, things are getting a little more smoother between the three of us.

Well, ever since Tay and I headed out here, we've hung out together and talked. So then yeah, things are smooth between the two of us. Now all three of us have to smooth things out. I hope things get better, I really do. I mean… it really doesn't make sense. We use to be so close and now here we are…

Zachary W. Hanson

Peering out into the scenery was a different case by now. It was now 6:45 am and the sun was coming out. Soon his drawing pencils and pad were out and he began drawing the beautiful picture in front of him. Zac stopped when he heard someone. On the grass in front of him, he saw a long shadow walking towards him. He was surprised to see it was Erika.

"Erika! You're up early." Zac smiled warmly.

She returned the smile, "Surprised to see you too. It's not everyday you wake up this early in a cheery mood… okay, what's the occasion?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing…" Zac answered.

She nodded again, "Yeah… well, I just wanted to watch the sunrise. It's been a while since plus… I just didn't feel well from earlier this morning and the night before, so I decided to come out here."

"Yeah, I pretty much had the same reasons… the sun rising I figured would make a nice picture for Mom back in Tulsa."

Erika agreed, "Oh yes, a picture of that would make a lovely gift."

"Plus I wanted to clear my head… there's just a lot up there that's been swirling around, wanting me to like, put it down in my journal. The only thing is, it's all down in my journal and I still don't feel very good."

Erika took a seat next to Zac so that they were shoulder to shoulder against the weeping willow tree, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Yeah, actually." The words slipped from his mouth unexpectedly. That was one of the many good things about Erika. She made you feel comfortable and she definitely was trustworthy. "I would really like to talk about it." He paused to look at her and saw her smiling at him.

"When ever you're ready, Zac. I'm just gonna sit here and listen all day if I have to."

"It's just that… " He began, but stopped to recollect his thoughts. "It all has to do with my brothers. You know, Isaac, Taylor and I, just the three of us. Things have changed so much that I'm beginning to look at things with another perspective… and sometimes that perspective isn't always so great. Isaac, Taylor and I use to have this really close, really strong, unbreakable bond. Nothing could every damage it, then… " Zac hesitated while saying the next part, "then it was like, when Lindsay came along, it sorta changed. But don't get me wrong now, I'm not blaming it on her. I watched as she and Taylor fell in love. I watched Taylor give her his love and his heart, I'm sure she did the same… then I watched as she took it and pushed off to the side as if it didn't matter anymore. That's when they broke up…"

"I bet Taylor felt awful."

"He did. Now because I saw all that happen, Erika, I'm… I'm almost afraid of falling in love myself. That's only half of the point really. When Lindsay came along, she opened up apart of Taylor. At the same time she was taking part of him away from Isaac and I. Maybe I was the only one feeling that way, I don't know. That was when I felt so alone and weird. Then when Isaac and Lindsay began going out, the bond between my brothers and I just started fading in a way. Something happened that caused it to weaken and almost break… and now, there's a missing part between all three of us… I feel so close to alone, then Taylor came back and now Isaac's somewhere. I just want us all together again… and I'm tired of being scared of love. I have no idea why, I just… am." he sighed.

Erika nodded thoughtfully and took Zac's hand in hers, stroking it gently and comfortingly, it was like she was letting him know she was there for him, she would always be his friend. He looked into her eyes and smiled. Since Zac had stopped talking, she began to speak softly, "You know, Zac, you're probably just afraid of love because of what happened to Taylor. But really, that's no reason to be afraid. You're a special person, Zachary. I know for a fact that God has someone really special in store for you… "

"Huh?" Zac stared at her a bit doubtful.

Erika felt sorry for her most precious friend and quietly wished she could help him somehow. Most of all, her heart went out to him, as it would any person. It also felt as though her heart ached for him and seemed to sink in deep, "Zac, if you don't mind me asking, why are you so afraid of love?"

Zac straightened up the way he was sitting before speaking; "There's millions of reasons that I'm so scared. The funny thing is, it's probably for no reason at all."

"Not necessarily." Erika offered.

Zac agreed, "Yeah, but still."

"Everyone's got reasons to be afraid. You cannot be a brave knight in shining armor all the time you know."

"True, like, I get what you're saying Erika, but still."

Erika chuckled softly, "Man, Zac, you would be surprised at how I am."

"Oh?"

She nodded, "Yes, but your story first."

"It's just that, the whole idea of… when I see my parents…" Zac looked into her blue eyes, "they just look so happy and in love and fearless of whatever's out there when there together. When I saw Taylor and Lindsay, I thought they were the same way as my parents, completely, head over heels in love. Tay thought the same think as me, but as it turns out, we were both wrong. I guess I'm scared of taking that chance of giving me to someone when there's that possibility that they're just gonna break me and hurt me. I'm scared that she won't be the one I'm looking for. I'm scared she that when I find the one, she won't love me as much as I'd love her. I'm terrified that if… if I reach out for her hand in a time of loneliness… she won't… be reaching back."

Her heart fell even deeper down as she listened to all that he had to say, "Oh, Zac… I think almost everyone, whether they admit to it or not, is afraid of love and taking that risk, but that's always at first. I mean, if there's something inside telling you to go for it and you feel it is right, then just go for it and take that chance. You'll never know until you find out if she's the one. Besides, no matter what happens, I'll be there for you, I promise… and just for the record… when ever you're reaching out, I'll always be there to take your hand in mine, even if it's supposed to be someone else reaching back to you..."

Zac's blank face now smiled and he put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her that way, "Thank you so much… you're one friend I'm never letting go of… then there's my brothers now and feeling lonely and scared with all that stuff. It's all so complicated and… blah, you know?"

"Yeah, and believe it or not, I understand how you feel afraid and lonely. I feel that almost everyday of my life… but think about how close you guys use to be. In time, you three will be just as close again and everything will be just as it was and should be for you."

Zac looked hopefully back at her, "Do you really think so?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I really do. I know so!" she smiled as Zac wrapped his arms around her waist and they shared a hug. "Ow! Zac, ouch!"

That startled Zac so he let go of her and just held her gently, "Erika?" he asked alarmed. "What's wrong? Why are you hurting all of a sudden?" he stood up with her and held her hand looking concerned.

"I… I… I have a few bruises on my side. When you hugged me, it was a little too tight that's all. I'm-"

Zac sat there, unaware as to what to do first; let the tears in his eyes spill for both him and his friend for he was fearful of what her answer could be, or to take hold of her close to him in his arms. He chose neither of the two interrupted her, "Bruises? How'd you get them?"

She stifled a small smile and lifted her shirt up, showing her the left of her waist to him. Erika looked at Zac, whose facial expression showed shock and concern. The time had come to tell Zac what she had been keeping from him and from everyone else she knew outside her family life. Erika swallowed hard, "Zac, my father hits me sometimes…"