Signs of a Bad Trek Convention

1. It's being held in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven.
2. When you count the fake Spock ears in the room, you have an odd number.
3. Ben & Jerry's unveils a weird-tasting new flavor called "Roddenberry".
4. Dorks with "Moe" haircuts keep wandering in from the 3 stooges convention down the hall.
5. So called starship Enterprise looks a lot like an RV wrapped in paper mache.
6. By the time you get there, they've already run out of "spockwiches"
7. The keynote speaker is William Shatner's hairpiece.
8. The hookers all look like Klingons.
9. You keep running into a guy who wants to show you his "phaser"
10. Someone yells," Beam me up, Skippy!"
11. The winner of the costume contest looks like a cross between Worf and Dr. Frank N. Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show! (Stephanie Smith)