** He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
** He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
** He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger 'n lum'num foil
** He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
** He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
** He keeps a six-pack under his command chair
** He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
** He paints the starship John Deere green
** He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, 'n collards
** He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
** He refers to Klingons as "Critters"
** He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
** He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"
** He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
** He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open a hailing frequency"
** He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
** He sets phaser to "Cajun"
** He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
** He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"
** He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
** His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba
** His idea of dress uniform is *Clean* bib overalls
** His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
** You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
** Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
